How does trauma affect you? Unfortunately, it affects your life’s decisions. Knowingly and sub-conscionably. After a life-changing severe trauma, it doesn’t only change your life, it also changes your body, re-shapes your cells. If that isn’t enough, it damages and alters our mindset, how can we tell if we are making the right decisions in picking the right relationship? Sometimes we make the same mistakes repeatedly. When trying to heal, do not linger with the symptoms of your experiences with trauma which include preventing you from doing what is your regular daily activities.
It’s a problem when being stuck in a state of panic, procrastination, or depression. But thanks to new research and treatment strategies, it is more possible than ever to emerge from this darkness.
Many therapists and as an Olympian Life Coach, I had noticed a pattern of behavior in some of my clients. I realized after many years of working with them and trying to help others, that most everyone had gone through an experience that kept them from moving forward.
When I asked why, these clients, most of them, had something in common, something very bad had to happen to them. They could not achieve their goals or keep a job, they would start a job and within a short time span, they would quit or lose that job. They did give me many excuses, “they did not like me”, “I did not like them”. “I could not get them to understand how I felt”, “I called them names, so they fired me.”
Trauma not only affects our brains and ability to function, but it also affects our emotions. Trauma has even embedded itself in our bodies. We slouch, some of us walk with our heads down, heavy stressful moments can affect our nervous system, and we can react with extreme anxiety, or feel like we cannot breathe. Trauma not only clings to us but it makes us feel impaired, sometimes permanently, unable to process what is going on around us, feeling different, and not understanding why.
Is there healing from all that darkness? Each of us has a different way of dealing with life. I believe it is how we were raised. What kind of childhood did you have? Hard knocks teach us at a young age, how to cope with what was been handed to us. A popular phrase is “if all you get is lemons, make lemonade”!
What worked for me just might not work for you. I was raised in what westerners call a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father. So, I was around a lot of arguments and violence. I felt as I was growing up, this was just a normal way of life. My mom always encouraged us (a large family of 14) to do better and make a better life for ourselves. She always said, “I don’t want you to end up, like me.” She was always giving us good advice. I now wished I would have listened more and applied what safety suggestions she offered. My mom knew best what she really did not want us to wind up with. Now I wished I would’ve listened.
Different people make different choices, especially if you do not know what has caused this bad behavior, especially when before all the trauma, you were achieving many things. What happened? Seeing a therapist, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist could help, unfortunately, they may want to get you on some medication, that might help or just slow your brain down. That is something to think about. I feel the best way is to heal without meds. But really the decision is up to the individual.
Healing could come from talking about your experience with others who have overcome the trauma, and some do. The trauma never goes away, but you learn to live around it, disabling its power over you and your life. There are now many different types of support groups out there. Do some research on the Internet and look for what is right for you.
Taking the wires of your brain and re-routing them to re-connect through meditation, can reconnect you to a more active life. No longer being a victim to it. Not letting the trauma or that experience take the best of you.