The feeling trauma of abandonment can affect not only a child who was left at the hospital without a mother to love it. Abandonment will leave a child feeling unsafe, not important enough to be cared for, and especially loved. Unfortunately, this can leave an imprint on the child. They could heal if they are given the necessary loving emotional needs even if it is not from their original parent.
A cared child even if they were adopted and were giving love, were cared for, will develop a good self-esteem. Self-worth, and safe in their own world. They will be able to build and stay in a healthy relationship as an adult. Even if he knows he was abandoned as a child.
Abandonment also affects someone as an adult. Abandonment comes in many forms, getting a divorce from someone who you thought loved you and would stay with you no matter what. The death of someone you loved. A friend, who you considered a special friend who you two were un-separable, then, she got married and your relationship changed. Understandable, but why are you feeling this way?
I had a friend like that, she stopped talking to me, without an explanation. I got married but wanted to continue our loving relationship. But up to this day, we separated and I tried writing to her, left her notes at her house, left messages on her landline phone. Never heard from her again.
I kind of understand why, but not connecting at all? It hurt me, but life does go on. I will never forget her. I did give up after years of trying to communicate with her. It has been over 40 years now. I still miss her. She abandoned me. Maybe it hurt her for me to get married and she felt like I abandoned her by getting married. I guess I will never know, we have moved to other states away.
For children, this could lead to illnesses as an adult, they could develop eating disorders, to find something to make them enjoy the feeling food gives them. Substance abuse could become another form of feeling numb or good, covering the pain and suffering.
One of the ways to start healings is maybe trying to find their parents, where their parents have gone on with their lives and maybe even have another family now. This could hurt too and just make your emotional issues get worse. You may start to have suicidal thoughts. Please get help.
Get help from a mental health professional. You are not alone, others are survivors. There are support groups that you can go to, and find others who can help you. It can be of enormous help for you to get together with others who know exactly what you’re going through and who have already discovered a way of responding to the awfulness and misery that you are going through. Please get help.
You have many friends and other people who love you and miss you if your answer is suicidal. If you have children, how will you affect their lives? They still need you and need a good example, for when they too become adults?
Let’s say you feel you don’t have anyone to reach or to talk to? Please call 1800-273-8255. Reach out to someone to talk to. This national suicidal prevention lifeline is open 24/7. Please call and talk to someone that can help.
Many blessings and may your understanding of a higher source give you strength and courage to stay and get the help you deserve. God bless.