Sometimes, a trauma event makes us feel emotionally numb or physically numb, our cells in our body and brain are changed and we at that time do not understand why. We do not associate the reason why the traumatic response was evidenced. Why do people traumatize themselves? This happens when we are not seeking help seeing a therapist or receiving some physiological help. Sometimes, we can not tie the strings together to realize why.
“I have been feeling like this since the trauma happened” we do not always put two and two together. Many of us don’t ask why, we ask “what does this have to do with that?” Unless we look it up on the internet or read about trauma’s affections, how will we know?
As you now know trauma affects almost every moment of our lives. Its effects are in use 24/7 and it sneaks into our daily lives and in decisions we make as well. While trying to heal, our survival skills kick in and we realize something is wrong.
Especially if we are emotionally numb. We now understand why we go numb. By numb, I believe, we do not feel sadness any worse, when someone we love dies, or our significant other leaves us. An old lifetime friend needs an apology and “we don’t care.” Our friends start dropping out of our life, one by one.
You start feeling lonely, depressed, angry, irritability. Please ask yourself why? How well do you know yourself? Is this really you? You might be down to your last friend. So you are still saying, “So, go, I don’t care!” You are still feeling numb.
When people hurt/harm or cut on themselves, there’s a sort of a feeling of relief. “I am alive, I felt that pain.” I had a client who cut herself on the forehead with a razor blade, right in front of her boss, because he fired her. She stated she wanted to scream and yell, but needed to really feel the emotion to scream and yell. This client took her razor blade out from her purse and cut herself. Remember I worked with the mentally ill.
What can I do to survive harming myself?
- Get yourself some help.
- Accept that you are not you. “I am normally not like this person.”
- Talk to a professional and be honest about your feelings.
- Try to go back to your normal routine, going to bed, getting up to shower, going to work.
- Take your time to get back to your normal life.
- Do not use alcohol or drugs, they only make life more complicated.
- Do not buy a house, a new car, or make any major decisions until you feel better.
- Try meditations, praying, yoga, or other relaxing exercises, to relax you.
- Makeup with your friends and family, by telling them what you need. Ask for help.
Sometimes, it is hard to ask for help. I have always recommended support groups. People there know what you are going through. They will not judge you and you will be making new friends. They will be there for you. They will know how you are feeling and get you help. You will learn that you are not alone.
Many Blessings to you and those who are involved with healing.