The cycle of trauma? What are we talking about here? Do we keep recycling our traumas to our children? How are we supposedly doing this? When we are stressing about something like our car broke down, now we have no transportation to get to and from work, and just the other day, my washing machine broke down too. Where is the money going to come from if I can’t get myself to work? If I am missing work, how am I supposed to get the car fixed? Where is the money going to come from? The cycle of problems too.
Well, if I am too upset, who is paying attention to the children? what are they experiencing with mom been all upset about the money for the car, upset because of the money for the washing machine, what are the children experiencing and what kind of an example is mom right now?
Mom is losing it and what are the children learning, that when they are adults, they will get stressed out about the financial part as well and get ill or get a better paying job. Mom is taking a drink to calm her nerves. Drugs or alcohol.
As adults, we get stressed, which interrupts our time and the needs of the children, if this stressful situation is ongoing, it interferes with the development of the children. The children as adults will reduce their ability to deal with stress. Which could mean, it can affect the development of their children (and the beat goes on and on).
Sometimes, we are just so busy with our own personal problems, we react in a manner where we are just self-involved with our problems, and unfortunately, our children are not always our first priority. Our stressors are because, honestly, they are causing us pain right now which makes us painfully aware of our lack of peace of mind.
Limited coping skills could be a genetic part inherited from our parents. Could that be the case with our children? Are we going to affect our grandchildren too? We are not responding to our stress appropriately. Psychotherapists are there to help us with handling our stress levels and teach our children to better cope with stressors of life.
- Breathing should help and have the children join you in the breathing exercise. For example, take a deep breath, count to the count of 6 in your mind. Blow out, like your blowing out your birthday candles. Repeat as needed.
- Children need to hear positive things from you.
- Say, “Sometimes, when I am feeling sad, just thinking of you makes me feel better.”
- Smile, this too shall pass.
- Think of a happy song, or an upbeat song and sing it.
Let’s try to relax, with another breathing exercise to relieve tension. Sit in a comfortable chair, your feet on the floor and your hand laid loosely on your thighs, palms up.
- Now close your eyes. Breath in.
- Gently blow out all the air in your lungs.
- Slowly inhale while counting to 6.
- Allow your abdomen to expand while you breathe in
- Breathe out,
- Now breathe normally for a minute
- Repeat until you feel your tension subside.
Every thought you think and every word you speak, is being responded to, and to the point of this power is in this moment. The thoughts you are thinking and the words you are saying at this moment are creating your future. Try keeping things on a positive note, if not for you, for your children and your children’s children, for they are our future.
Many blessings to you and the children.