Month: November 2020

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Is Trauma Hereditary?

Trauma is defined as a physical and psychological threat or assault to a child’s bodily integrity, sense of self, safety, survival, or to the physical safety of another person significant to the child. Have you ever thought that trauma is hereditary? Do we have to go through a traumatic episode also, as did our father, mother, or family? It does feel that way, when you hear the history of your family.

Early childhood trauma (i.e., those bad things that happen before the age of six) lie at the root of most depression, anxiety, and many other emotional and psychological illnesses. Could this finding be heredities?

Why do some of us in the family continue to suffer with trauma? Are we making these choices for our loved ones? Must it carry on to every generation?

Due to traumatic experiences, children are susceptible to psychological disorders and severe emotional turmoil, often needing trauma therapy assistance.

Heredity trauma is also known as intergenerational trauma.

What causes intergenerational trauma?

Intergenerational trauma can negatively impact families as a result of unresolved emotions and thoughts about just living life. Negative repeated patterns of behavior, including beliefs about parenting and passing on some of the traditional parts of life in a way that families live.

Untreated or poorly-treated substance abuse or severe mental illnesses can or may effect us all in someway or another.

Can you inherit your parent’s trauma?

Many types of research suggest that trauma may be inherited in many aspects. Studies have shown that experiencing trauma may abandon a chemical mark on a person’s genes, which is then passed down to future generations. Can you believe that? It scary to think that we cannot escape this.

Does inherited trauma exist?

Intergenerational trauma is usually seen within one of the parents or grandparents of one family who was traumatized enough, and each period of that family continues to experience trauma in some form or another. In these cases, the origin can usually be traced back to a devastating event, and the trauma is unique to that family. Its almost like a curse. If you believe in curses.

Symptoms of intergenerational trauma:

• Lack of trust of others
• Anger
• Irritability
• Nightmares
• Fearfulness
• Inability to connect to others
• Not getting treatment for the intergenerational trauma

Healing hereditary trauma includes the following therapies, which can break the cycle of trauma:

• Parent-child interaction therapy
• Family therapy
• Family system improvement therapy
• Working through a genogram
• Child parent relationship therapy

Other hereditary intergenerational traditions could include in times of war. Sometimes we follow our forefathers’ tradition of going to war. Parental disorder trauma constitutes an essential health care need of veterans, especially those who recently separated from service. By reviewing studies regarding the strength of several types of trauma found that many of the studies were invalid in composition and performance and that relatively few of these studies have been carried out in veterans’ populations, despite suggestions that civilian and veteran people respond indifferently about many kinds of treatment.

The board also notes that the data is insufficient for potency or generalization of ethnic minority treatment modalities.

Despite challenges in the consistency, quality, and depth of research, the board found the evidence adequate to conclude exposure therapies’ efficacy in treating trauma.

The committee found the evidence inadequate to determine the effectiveness of different pharmacotherapies, three other psychotherapy modalities, and psychotherapy delivered in group formats.

In other words, there was no pure evidence that trauma is or is not really hereditary. Or is it? What do you think?

 

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Coping With Trauma

Every person experiences trauma in different ways. It is different with each of us. Those events that cause stress, whether it is a coronavirus, plane crash, a traffic incident, or any violent crime, you may experience intense depression, fretful  fear, or a feeling of physical numbness.

Repeated exposure to an incident can overwhelm your mind with stress just as if you experience the event again firsthand.

Traumatic events can destroy your sense of safety and peace, leaving you feeling helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world. But there are so many things that this experience can leave you with.

There is no right or wrong reaction to theses traumatic events.

People usually panic when going thru a traumatic event and react differently to them. You are truly experiencing some things that do not make you feel right, you could feel like you are going crazy, and could definitely use some help.

Don’t ignore your feelings:

It may seem better when you avoid your feelings,  for a short time or be in denial. Do talk to someone about your symptoms. Someone like your doctor who has knowledge of trauma symptoms, or someone like a therapist who has had clients who have suffered with trauma and possesses knowledge of this kind of experience and has been successful in treating trauma victims.

Be patient and calm with yourself and understand that this is part of the recovery.

  •  Know that you will have confused emotions, different thoughts that will make some decisions more confusing. If so, ask yourself why?
  • Try to get back to your daily activities .
  • Find something you enjoy doing.
  • Make life more interesting for yourself.
  • Get involved, doing something you may enjoy, like gardening.
  • Exercising, dancing, running, anything that will rid you of negative energy.
  • Reestablish your routine:
  • Try yoga, meditation, even praying to your creator, angels or whatever, to seek some higher power figure.

After the traumatic event, try to get back to your regular routines as soon as possible it will help you to cope with your trauma like anxiety, stress, paranoia, loneliness, and fear. Do what you must to feel safe again.

Even if your daily life is disrupted you can plan a schedule of eating, sleeping, work, spending time with your family and friends. Doing what you enjoy with friends and even get dog or a cat.

The big decision of life, like buying a home, quitting your job, or leaving family, while still suffering from emotional trauma will make you more depressed and/or stressful, or very angary at yourself or others.  There is a chance of making the wrong choices or decisions when you are not in your right mind. Seek help if you are not feeling yourself after 6 months of suffering with trauma.

Physically, getting involved in an activity also helps calm your nervous system and helps you move on with the traumatic event.

Again, try to exercise in a rhythmic fashion and engage your whole body, walking, running, and swimming are excellent choices to help your mind and body release some of the negative feelings and symptoms.

Add mindful elements by focusing on your mind, body and spirit, how it feels when you move or jump.  Feel the rhythm of your breathing, your feet hitting the ground, or the relaxed feeling of the sun on your skin can also calm your mind and body.

Boost your energy and motivate yourself to exercise. Start by dancing and moving around. Once you start moving around here and there you will feel more energetic.

Get yourself proper sleep:

After experiencing a traumatic or stressful event, it is difficult to have  proper rest or to get to sleep. Worries and fears may keep you up late at night, or bad dreams may disturb you. But getting plenty of sleep, is very healing to your mind, body, and spirit.

The following things can help you have better sleep.

• Avoid caffeine in the afternoon or evening.
• Do something relaxing before going to bed. Breathing exercises, meditations.
• Make your bedroom soothing, quiet, sipping your favorite tea before going to sleep.

Getting into a support group or reading information will help you get more healing ideas. Also call someone who you trust to talk to or someone that you know who has gone through something similar especially if that person is a survivor like you.

 

 

 

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How Do Men Deal With Trauma?

Many of us deal with our sufferings, pain and/ or problems in different ways. If you were raised around males, you will see that they have a different way of dealing and coping with difficult life situations. Or could be, it dependence on how they were told to express themselves as they were growing up.

Have you heard the expression “los hombres no lloran” or “big boys don’t cry”, “You have to take it like a man!” I used to hear my father say that to my brothers repeatedly. They were just children at that time!

Today, I always think, “What did this guy go thru to be such an asshole?”

Human suffering is everywhere in the world around us. We all have experienced untold, hidden trauma like sudden deaths, abuse, bullying, and violence. Men do not talk about the trauma they suffer Why?

It is experienced that men usually don’t burden others with their problems. They dealt with all their issues on their own. In our society, if a man suffered in silence from trauma, he is awarded the badge of honor. Boys usually learn from their fathers.

Fathers tell their sons that crying is for babies and girls only. Although in our society, males are told that they need to be tough, “Quote” “if you don’t stop crying, I will give you something to cry about!” and powerful enough to survive in a man’s world. T

This is one of the many reasons why males suffer In silence.

We usually hear and see bad male behavior like violence, addiction, shootings, aggression, and criminal behavior and make assumptions that it’s a part of nature of a man,

This unspoken pain and suffering from childhood trauma and men is not always talked about. That leads to projecting trauma onto others. If not onto others, hurting themselves by allowing the infections of inner wounds to spread viciously inside and start self-medicating, by turning to alcohol and drugs.

Until we are ready to talk about male trauma, we will continue to set up the next generation of males to fail in their emotional life. Males are struggling day and night with so much failure at a much higher rate than females.

Unfortunately, today, we have many walking wounded men suffering from depression, anxiety, addictions, or other disorders. For most men talking about their pain and trauma is seen as a weakness.

It is a time to end the trauma suffering by raising our boys to connect with their hearts, give them confidence and permission to share their pain and feelings with their loved ones, or someone they trust., allowing themselves to talk openly about male trauma and seek help from available supports groups, talk therapy as well as other mental health professionals..

We all need someone who can understand our pain, it’s OK to cry and to share our feelings. As Human beings, we all should take a step to reduce the stigma for males to talk, cry, and heal themselves for the sake of our future male children.

 

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Children in Cages

How do you think these kids will be affected in 10 to 15 years? If you have been listening to the news, you have heard about these children being placed in a large cage with other kids, separated from their parents, and not knowing why. No explanation why. Not being able to get answers. Hearing other children crying for their parents too.

I remember, when I was 6 or 7 years old. My parents and all of us who could carry a hoe were working out in the fields, thinning beet plants. We saw immigration vans stop by. They questioned my parents and took me and my brother, forced us into the van. I remember crying. My Mom was crying which made me even more scared.

I remember getting separated from my brother after we got to this very large building. I was placed in a room with white kids in wheelchairs, some were on the floor, crawling towards me.  I cried the whole time I was there. Except when I was offered some food. I felt I was there for days, but it was just one day, which felt to me like a lifetime. I just cried for my parents and kept asking where’s my brother? No one would tell me. I saw these kids in wheelchairs and kids on the floor coming towards me. I later found out; I was placed there because I did not speak English.

I was so afraid they were going to eat me, when I saw them crawling toward me, trying to touch me. I remember in my nightmares; I was lying in a stretcher covered with a light blanket and when someone like a doctor comes in, uncovered me and starts cutting parts off me to feed others, and they kept me alive for body parts. I saw myself with one arm, one foot, and one leg, and other pieces of me missing.

Finally, one of my older sisters came after me and she took me home. This has been one of the other experiences I will never forget. Of course, it was a law that all kids should be in school at my age. We didn’t know why.

Now, here we are, all because of political reasons all these kids are in cages and separated from their families. Last I researched this, late in 2020, 3 children had died. All this happening in the United States! Our land of the free. Let’s go back to the children.

I had a client who I will call Carlos. Carlos was 6 years old. Going to school, had other friends in school whose parents had been taken by ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) they take undocumented people who come to the United States.

The family wanted to make a safety plan. Wanted family to know what to do, where to go, like other families who were with them. Just in case ICE came. First of all, “DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR”! They will announce themselves and let you know who they are.

This child had been born in the United States but feared for his parents, and himself.  He was having nightmares and had not been able to sleep for several weeks now. “Am I going to be placed in a cage?”

I asked if they had taken him to the doctor? They said yes. But he did not help, just gave him something to force this child to sleep. But he would wake up crying. He got worse and so the parents stopped the medication. The doctor said, “All kids go through this and he will outgrow it.”

I investigated on what was their spiritual belief. Carolos’ parents went to church on Sundays, they were Catholic and were teaching their children as well.  While I was talking to Carlos’ parents, I gave him a little bottle of bubbles to blow bubbles. I asked him to tell me what colors he saw in the bubbles and what shape he saw the bubbles were. He responded appropriately.

I asked him to close his eyes and using his imagination to think of himself inside that bubble.

“Now, being inside the bubble, tell me what colors you see. Carlos tells me. I also asked if he had faith in God and his protection? He said “yes”. Long story short. I asked him to have God put the light of the Holy Spirit God, around the bubble with him in it for protection. You are building this bubble to place yourself and your parents in for God to protect them anywhere they may be, home, work, church.

We repeatedly practiced placing him inside the bubble within a second. He later said he could get inside the invisible bubble made by God for his protection so quickly, he felt safe. As I talked to the parents about other things, I would use the word “bubble!” to have him place himself inside it quicker, and he would close his eyes and imagine himself inside the bubble instantly, and say, “Safe!”

According to his parents, he didn’t need the medication and slept soundly after that.

I pray for these children, but I feel this is not enough, they need emotional resources and support as well. I understand there are some organizations, resources, and passionate people who are taking care of these children living in cages.