I had a client who has gained so much weight during his young life. Here, why? He was abandoned by his mom when he was 4 months old. His dad became mentally ill after his mother left. Leaving the baby to be raised by someone who was too ill to really take care of the baby. He was left with a babysitter who would place him in a dark closet when he was bad. Dad came to pick him up one day, a little early, and she brought him out of the closet. Dad never took him back there.
Dad did try the best that he could, but it was too hard for dad, who had to work to support himself and pay for babysitting the baby.
When the baby was 4 years old, dad could not afford to have a babysitter, and he worked the graveyard shift. He left my client at home by himself. He taught my client to dial 911 or his dad’s sister who lives a two-hour drive from their house, just in case my client, needed to talk to someone.
My client said he did call a time or two, when he got scared at night, thinking someone was outside his window. His auntie did make him feel better and he fell asleep with her on the line. He’d wake up and she was still there. Knowing that he felt safe.
My client said he felt hungry all the time. Now that he’s alone, he answered his own question of, “why?” He needed to fill his emptiness and depression. He filled it with food, playing games on the computer, and watching movies. This was his way out, to feed the loneliness. He stated he was not physically active. He knew this was one of the other reasons he would gain even more weight. He knew he had habits to change.
This is what we came up with.
- As a child, he was abandoned by his mom. He needed and desired motherly love, which he noticed at school when moms would stay for a program, he wished he too could be held, hugged, and showed love by a mom. He never had that but desired it.
- His father finally got better and was more affectionate to him. But dad, later met a lady, who had a nephew, who later, forcefully, sexually molested him.
- My client felt that he was just eating his life away. He felt very happy when he could eat a large meal, he just ate whatever he wanted. Mainly, hamburgers and fries, after school meals. He could drink a liter of pop in one sitting.
- My client suffered from bullying in school he stated kids made fun of his weight.
- My client filled much of his emotional needs with food. He had already developed, type two diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and he was well on his way to developing cardiovascular disease.
Now, understanding his childhood trauma, he has lost 67 lbs. to this date but says he has to remember at times, not always, why he feels so hungry. He is finally feeling better about himself. He has more friends and better self-esteem.
His next goal is to find a girlfriend, get married, and start a family.
Many Blessing to my client and all those who have a problem with weight and that they heal from the emotional reasons why.