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Aging is a traumatic experience

Are you a senior? At what age are you a senior? I understand it could start at 55 years old. Where can we go to be prepared to become a senior? A senior center maybe? Talk to another person your age? Nothing really prepares you. You need to smart enough when your young enough to start a retirement plan, especially if where you’re working, they can help with building one for you.

You really do not think about this, because, I don’t know why? Been around others who are retiring maybe? Just thinking about retirement is trauma in itself. We do not plan on well, how long am I going to live for example? Where am I going to live?

You hear about your children placing you in a nursing home and having somebody who doesn’t love you or care for you, take control of your everyday life. They are paid to take care of you. How much did you love your job when you worked? Be paid only minimum wage? You will need to clean my poopy ass? For minimum wage?

Oh dear, aren’t we seniors in for a surprise. As Seniors we already have a lot on our plates, we need to guess what health insurance we will need. We have to know what social security will pay for and what they will not pay for and pay for supplemental insurance. That could be out of pocket money and who much?

There goes your itty-bitty social security check. Unless you were smart enough to get a retirement plan from work called an IRA pension plan, any retirement plan to supplement your income.

I was not aware that they give more money if you went to college or have a college degree. How unfair is that? You worked your butt off for 10 to 12 hours a day for over 25 years and what do you get?

A traumatizing event…Yes, it is. Trauma is when we decide to stop doing what we have been doing daily like working and having a routine for over 20 years and then we stop. We wake up every morning and think of all of our friends we made at work and how they are facing that horrible morning traffic, trying to make sure they have taken the right route to get to work on time.

Sometimes, I send them a prayer. OK, so I am now retired, I keep my doctors appt. and she is telling me “I am aging appropriately for my age”. “Soon I will have aches and pains, my back will hurt, my knees will give out and I will experience falls…” What! But wait!” “I feel fine.” “It’s just part of the aging process,” she says.

Why do they put these negative things in your subconscious? That is so negative. It is said that 90% of people age 65 and over, have experienced one major traumatic experience in their life. It is reported that 12% suffer from trauma each year. Of course, if people have suffered trauma and not taken care to understand it, or deal with the emotions it comes with it, illnesses, will start to appear.

Trauma experiences come in a form of a disease, if not dealt with. How? Come to terms with what happened as a child, teenager, or as an adult. talk to a curandera/healer, a good therapist, or mental health professional. Somebody who can help heal the pain and suffering.

For help contact the national council of aging online. Or call 571-527-3900, they are open Mon to Friday 5 am to 5:30 pm. you can contact them and help you get help no matter where you live. Please do not hesitate to get help. 211 is a good number to call as well or 911 in case you need immediate help.

God bless.

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Trauma Triggers

The smell of freshly made bread, biscuits, or freshly made tortillas, brings back wonderful memories from I was still at home and reminds me of my beautiful mom. The happy times of family. But what happens when, due to a violent or sexual assault, you remember the smells surrounding the tragic incident, like it was raining. It is so amazing to me how certain things that you do not remember, can be triggered by little things.

For example, seeing things reminds you of a traumatic event. Hearing someone argue verbally in a certain tone. A certain place, an area, or a house, that you were walking by.  Many things could trigger someone and to cause them all of a sudden to stop and get lost in the traumatic event taking place as if you were right back there as it pays out in your mind’s eye, or it could be even more severe as if you are experiencing the traumatic incident in the flesh again.

In certain cases, you may not realize something is triggered until you have a reaction to it. It was my client’s birthday, during a session, as I wished her a happy birthday, she remembered an incident that happened while she was celebrating her birthday with her boyfriend’s family. They decided to hold her down and spank her, I guess that’s was a tradition in that family.

My client stated that she started screaming and crying and telling them to stop. She said she continued to cry and sob and telling them that she was ok, but at that moment and time, she did not know why she started crying and sobbing? The family felt so bad and apologized over and over again.

But if you teach yourself, to subconsciously know that this is over and you are no longer in danger, this too will help. By getting professional help, you can heal faster. Be less afraid. The world is no longer a safe place for you. Even before all this happen, you felt the world was already scary, you could be even more traumatized and scared now.

Even seeing a movie could re-traumatize you all over again, for me it was “Sleeping with the Enemy” starring Julia Roberts. Avoiding certain movies is a good suggestion and good advice. I could not sleep after I saw that movie.

Sometimes, you could be just writing a letter or a text. Now, these days can also experience trauma triggers as a bad feeling, as if someone is going to hurt you somehow, you can feel the electricity of it as if it is crackling in the air.

I pray and surround myself with the white light of the divine spirit when I start having a thought or an unexplained feeling of doom, it is an unknown trigger and just comes out of the blue.

Tell someone you trust who is not judgmental. Talk about what you are feeling to that person, someone that you have talked to about this traumatic event, and you feel better after you talk to them or feel safe when you ae around them. A therapist can help identify most if not all your triggers.

Get to know your senses and yourself well enough, your body’s vibes. Be connected to all your senses in your body to know the different ways you can understand your feelings, tingles, stomach, and gut feelings. You have become so connected to yourself, you question many of your feelings, especially if you are in a different safe environment and you are not too sure of that. Crazy huh?

What could trigger some of these memories?

  • Movies show certain emotions.
  • An object, a color, maybe a physical feature on another person, long hair, bread, mustache, a scar on their face. Etc.
  • A certain smell, they are strongly attached to a memory.
  • Something on the news report, or post online.
  • Hearing something like a vehicle backfire or a police car with sirens and flashing lights speeding by.
  • Pain, like a headache, a touch at a certain place on your body parts.

You are the only one that can sense if you are safe in a certain area, and for a while, ask a friend you trust to accompany you to go like the grocery store, outside to walk your dog. See someone to help you with these feeling of sensations, thoughts, and emotions. A therapist could help.

God bless and heal you from all this negativity and these trauma triggers.

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Trauma Caused by the Church

When I was young, about 12 years old, my mother would send us to go clean the church and our priest’s house. One day when I was cleaning and dusting his office, the priest startled me when he playfully grabbed me and placed his hands on my breast and said “you have grown into quite a young lady” and started to molest me. When I mentioned what this priest did to me to my mother, she slapped me and shouted, “Do not lie about God’s chosen saints!” My mom did not believe me.

I did not want to clean his office, clean the church, or go to mass for that matter anymore. But my mother forced me. I asked my sisters if this had happened to them when they had cleaned his office? They did not respond to me. Why?

They just continued to clean. We would take turns with another family to clean the church and the office. How many other girls was this man doing this to? I never will know.

The outcomes of these incidents can be overwhelming to us young people. Even though the world was not paying as much attention at that time and era, but equally important is long-term destructive effects in the lives of abused victims.

The damage to victims and the emotional damage as well, also the belief in our religious background. I remember him giving a sermon on keeping clean, staying away from lust, and sexual desires. I did not know what to do but feel disgusted based on what I had already experienced and keep things to myself.

Some of us cannot have normal or healthy emotional relationships with other people because of the distrust of other male people just wanting to be a friend or an acquaintance.

When does this emotional feeling go away? With time and work on yourself with the help of a professional.

Getting rid of all that shame, guilt, and our accusing God of allowing this to happen to me. One day, the priest was no longer there. He was gone. This made going to church more comfortable.

  • I went on to learn the ritual prayers.
  • Celebrated my holy communion, just to please my mom.
  • I made my mother proud when I got married in the church. In a white dress and I did not feel guilty about being married in a white dress, as if I was a virgin because I was blessed by doing that act with a priest “a man chosen by God himself” according to my mom (that was my justification).
  • I did leave the church soon after I got married.

Has this experience taken my belief in God away? It did at first, but now I understand, that they (priests) are “after all, just a man.” Not “made in the image of God” Genesis 1:27 as well.  This verb is a reference to man and indicates that man was created with a difference from animals.

Clergy are charged with the habitual conformity of all Gods power, to do the will of God and to the will of his powers to the will of God clearly discerning, his will in embracing his chief good without error in his knowledge, passions, or his appetites, and senses, also being all, to wisdom and enjoyment of his facilities in all his ministry and pray to restore our souls.

That’s a lot of responsibilities to place on a man’s shoulders. If so, that is probably the reason clergy are mostly men, ministry, men, church leaders, men. Today there are women in the ministry as well.

Healing will come as well,  getting help, by seeing a professional, or a good therapist.

 

 

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Is Taking the COVID-19 Vaccine Traumatizing?

We are all still under quarantine and restrictions, the poor, sick, and weak.  This virus has spread and now it is a global virus and the world as a whole is infected. “As a whole.”  How did this happen? No one really knows. There are many questions, the elderly, children, and people, in general, are dying. How did this happen? Now dogs, too?

There are so many questions and no answers. Now, we have a vaccine almost a year later. I was watching some doctors on YouTube saying some of the doctors had discovered a cure early on when we first heard about coronavirus, but I did not hear anything more. Why is this virus hurting millions and millions of people, their jobs, and businesses? It is like a Horror movie, like the movie “outbreak”.

I was reading this article that said they were all excited because of the vaccine. There are two different vaccines, one from Pfizer and a second from Moderna. I understand that there are other vaccines that apply different approaches to taking care of the COVID 19, but the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) needs to approve them and are going through them as quickly as possible.

As I understand this, there have been some shipped and people have been vaccinated. Especially, with those people who are at higher risk.

Does this mean we can go back to our regular lives?

No. 

A doctor, MD, and assistant professor from Pulmonary and Critical Care Medicine at St. Johns Hopkins School of Medicine said, “To put this crisis behind us and go back to life as we know it”, “we need 80 percent of the United States population to get the vaccine, and it could take a year.”

It was stated that some people will not be able to get the vaccine until June of this year. How traumatizing is that, for those who are affected with the COVID-19 today?

As I understand it, the vaccination will begin in three phases.

First Phase

Because there are limited doses right now, it will be given to the higher risk people first, the health workers, the elderly, and the nursing home staff.

Second Phase

Once there are more doses of the vaccine, they will continue with the high-risk population, and then the vaccine will be distributed to the clinics, doctors’ offices, pharmacies, and other medical facilities.

Third Phase

In phase three, and if there are enough vaccine doses, it will be available to everyone. It also depends on where you live, and who gets what.

Phases will vary by what state you live in. Those decisions will be made by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, along with the Governments, the local ones, where you are living.

Are You Safe Getting the Vaccine?

It is claimed that 73,000 people who participated in the trials of the Pfizer and Moderna vaccine clinical trials, did not experience “serious safety concerns.”

Also, you will probably need two doses of the vaccine. The longest the vaccines last is 21 to 28 days. You will still have to take precautions at least two weeks after the last vaccination. Just to be safe. Social distancing and wearing a mask and avoiding traveling.

These restrictions will still be required due to only 10 percent of people having the vaccine, they will not be protected from getting the COVID-19 and could be reinfected, yet it could be a good possibility.

The vaccine will cause body aches, chills, fever, and swelling in the vaccine shot area. They recommend not to take anti-fever medication or painkillers for at least six hours after your vaccine shot.

Once Vaccinated, Can I Go Back to My Normal Life?

No.

And here is why: The vaccine is not made to prevent you from contracting the virus. It is simply to prepare your body, as a defense, so that you do not become infected and resulting in a life-threatening illness. When the COVID-19 has eased its presence in your community, then officials or the FDA advisory panel from the COVID-19 may lift the restrictions.

Should I Worry About Allergic Reactions?

Yes.

They said if you are allergic to anaphylaxis. If people have an allergic reaction to food, drugs, or vaccines they should not take Pfizer’s vaccine. In mid-December 2021, The FDA will be working with Pfizer to make a determination on this point. The General reaction could be like being allergic such as reactions to eating peanuts or getting a vaccination for the flu. Symptoms could include hives, swelling of mucous membranes of mouth and tongue, difficulty breathing, a drop in blood pressure, and toxic shock.

I have taken vaccines that cause me to have muscle spasms, and I thought I was having a heart attack. That was the first time I had taken a vaccine, the second time I tried this again and my reaction was worse.

Making this decision will be a hard one for me.

May God bless us all and continue to protect us.

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Been Successful After Trauma

Been Successful After Trauma

People usually think that because of trauma, their life will be finish. But that is not true; with the help of strong will-power, and your strengths, you can be successful after traumatic stress. You will know how to be successful after trauma and achieve something bigger after trauma.

Education:

To move from the process of trauma to growth, one should first educate and learn about traumas effects. Let’s take an example, many of us believe that we are safe from endangering diseases; bad things only happened in other parts in the world, but cannot harm us in any way;

Unfortunately, none of that is true. Now, we must change our perceptions and figure out what to believe instead of false perceptions.

I wanted to give you a very encouraging quote by Johnnetta McSwain, who is also a very successful lady who suffered trauma since she was 4 years old and is now a very successful beautiful lady and she said in one of her statements, “We need to become self-aware  that we are women of strength, who stand for survival, empowerment, motherhood, leadership, love, nurturing, beauty, respect and courage to overcome anything!”

Emotional regulation:

We must our right frame of mind to do any learning. The first step is to start managing negative emotions such as anxiety, guilt, and anger, which can be done by shifting the kind of thinking that takes you to those feelings. Instead of focusing on your losses, failures, uncertainties, and worst scenario, try to think about your successes ,been able to have a roof over head, food on your table, the important thing is you have been able to provide,  the basics ,consider best-case possibilities, and reflect all those success factors on your company’s resources, and think carefully, what can you do for a big achievement.

 Treatment/or Therapy

This is the part of the ongoing process in which you talk about different scenarios of what has happened and is happening: its effects short- and long-term, personal, and professional. This kind of openness may help you make sense of the trauma and turn thoughts into productive reflections.

If you’re helping someone to talk about what it’s been like to experience this crisis, asking many questions can seem like you are more curious rather than concerned.

It’s best to focus on how you can make concerns known and what kinds of words are correct to use.

Narrative development:

It is the step in which you have to produce the narrative story about the trauma and the reflection of afterwards to accept the chapters already written and imagine crafting the next ones in a meaningful way. Giving you a different and positive feeling about your traumatic story and the stories of people you’re helping—can and should be about a traumatic past that leads to a better and bright future.

Service:

People do better after the process of trauma, if they find work that benefits others and helps people close to them or their broader community of victims with events similar to the ones they have endured. So, help others who are in trouble and face difficulty in overcoming trauma symptoms. This can give you a sense of growth and a peaceful life.

Be patient with this process. Those who are practicing in this field know that timing is important. Growth is a long procedure of process, and it takes time.

Manny Blessings to you.

 

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Rosa M Luna

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Rosa M. Luna. I was born in Eagle Pass, Texas. In a store. according to my mother, She did not know how far along she was due to have me.

Back in the day, my mom and my dad would cross the border to go shopping.  She was shopping when her water bag broke, she went to the bathroom and someone called an ambulance, who took my mom to the hospital. My mom loved being in the hospital.

They left her there for 5 days. That how long Doctors would allow you to stay. They fed, her, took the baby to her baby to feed her. They took care of her and she enjoyed it. My mom had 7 more children, in hospitals.

We were migrant workers. I was working at age 9 in the beet fields when immigration, INS, now called ICE, came and forced my brother and me away from my parents and placed us in school and I felt fear for many hours because I did not speak English and no one tried to explain.. I  have written about my ordeal in my book of trauma-ties in another chapter. What I am trying to convey in my book, is how trauma affects your life if not dealt with.

I have written this book through my book, I may be able to help someone by maybe explaining my understanding of how trauma is tided to many of our decision makings, how it controls your anxieties, how to get help for depression, and many illnesses, that the traumas bring up during your life here on earth.

I made many erroneous decisions, due to my experience o horrific and domestic violence’s in my life, I married men like my father who was an alcoholic and a wife-beater, a child molester, a mean father. I could go on and on about him, but I won”t.

Did I survive why? To help others heal from all this and make better decisions,   I made lots of mistakes, bad decisions, marry the wrong men over and over again, 5 times to tell you the truth..

During which my children also suffered,  due to my wrong decision making. I pray that they will forgive me.

Children are very precious to me. because I have learned how it affected me,, when I was a child, affected my children, and all others who surrounded us.

I learned about addiction, illnesses, and how trauma actually affects your life, your behavior. I remember being very angry and it felt like it was never going to go away.

We can choose to be a victim or a survivor.  I chose to be a survivor. I could have felt sorry for myself and abuse more drugs than I needed… It was not easy by any means.

I have a purpose now.  I want to help people heal. Loving myself, helped me love my fellow man/woman.

I have encountered many individuals who have risen above their pain and suffering. Gave themselves a purpose and using their belief in a higher power.

Having a purpose and a strong belief that there are other positive forces out there,  like your spirit guides, Angels. our Creator that has our greater good in his hands.

I encourage you to read my book and see for yourself, that we are not alone in this. Together we can heal ourselves and others from this affliction.

You are all in my prayers. Many Blessing to you.