ptsd | Trauma-ties

As a parent, do we know how to help a child, our child if he or she is suffering from a traumatic event, be it violent, sexual abuse, or bullying in school? Bullying in school is not a threat, right now, due to the pandemic, but what has been going with your child lately? He is crying, (I will use he, but mean both male and female) screaming, wakes up screaming, and or crying. What is going on? Then, what? Now he has wet the bed.

He is too afraid to talk about it. Remind him, just like they talked to him in school, he can talk to you, and you promise not to get mad. If he says “nothing has happened.” He is not ready to tell you about it, don’t rush it. Let him know that he can talk to you about anything, and you will not get angry at him.

He could be worried about what will you do to the person who has hurt him. He could get in trouble by telling you who is doing something to him and what is going on.

There could be many factors that might prevent him from opening up to you. Assure him you love him and let him know that he can talk to you about anything. Look him in the eyes, and tell him you love him, and as you hug him, listen to his tone and notice his body reactions. Is he trembling as you hugged him? Did he start to cry, or did big tears just drain his eyes?

Children absorb emotional support. They need reassurance that they are safe with you. PTSD is a very common mental health affliction that could be visited upon anyone who has suffered a traumatic event of violence, or sexual abuse. This condition is often accompanied by depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. They may keep getting frightened, confused, and have flashbacks.

This may get worse, so, please get professional help.

In teenagers

This condition could get worse as he turns into a teenager, his anger could get seriously worse. There are other signs of PSTD symptoms, depressed mood, headaches, stomach pain, lack of concentration, focus, lack of sleep, bedwetting, and many other negative reactions.

Report to a therapist, other disturbing things you have seen that might be important for the therapist to give assistance and attention to.

Coping and support

There will be many ups and downs potentially tantrums from your child and family living around the same household where the dramatic event took place. It can be frightening and energy-draining for the family as a whole.

You can find resources for help by calling “Center for families” they are open 8 am to 7 pm. and Saturdays from 9 to 1 Please call 617-355-6279. That can give more information for help and direct you to the right resources.

Tell your child it is “OK” to ask you any questions he/she may have about his PTSD.
Tell them it is OK for them to come and talk to you or another person they truly trust..
Set a certain rule that they could follow just in case he may need help. Repeat certain rules to make sure they are understood.
Go to family therapy. Be honest during the sessions. Adults should be good examples of how to talk and share.

Do relaxation exercises with your child to help soothing as needed. This could help during episodes of depression, anxiousness, or other chaos-causing episodes. This can be helpful for any other household member including dad.

A quick and easy relaxation technique to soothe anxiety is calm breathing. Have your child practice this by taking a slow breath in through the nose for about 4 counts. Then, have them hold their breath for 1 or 2 counts. Exhale through the mouth.
Wait a few seconds and then repeat for 5 to 10 breaths or until they start to feel calm
Other helpful soothing techniques that your child can learn include guided imagery using playful characters or visualization of parks or other pleasant imagery.

Dealing with this unfortunate experience with a beloved child may be very difficult at times, but as your child matures as an adult, they will remember your loving embrace to conquer this disease, making him a better and healthier survivor.

Many blessings and may God bless all involved in creating a loving survivor of PTSD.

This subject is a hard subject for many of us who have suffered trauma as a child and as an adult as well. Do the pain and suffering ever stop? Yes, somewhat. But there are times when something or someone will trigger a flashback and if you are not used to dismissing the emotion of it. It could ruin an otherwise happy moment.

I was with a friend having a fun time, but the way he took off his belt from his waist, sent me back to an abusive spouse. My friend was just been playful. I tried not to let it ruin the fun. I kept it inside and tried to dismiss it and reminded myself inside me, that “I am in a safe place and I am no longer in danger.…”

While the mind tries to forget, the survival part of the brain continues to send signals to the body that it is under a threat. When survivors blow up at a boyfriend or freeze in fear when someone disagrees with them, they rarely realize that these “irrational” reactions are triggered by imprints of a horrifying event from the past.

It’s virtually impossible to revisit those experiences without also reliving the terror and helplessness that accompanied them. Like with the smell of a certain cigarette. I can tell if it is a Camel cigarette brand or not, but most of the time it is a Camel brand. Other cigarette brands don’t get my attention. A little child crying by himself or herself in a corner triggers me. I want to run to them and save them from the monster who is hurting them. What can I do?

Most of us require assistance to feel safe enough to explore those events without also reliving the terror or horror, to truly put our experience in perspective and that ordeal belongs to the past.

If you can safely revisit them you can recognize that we were too small, scared, or powerless to protect ourselves. Then you can not only heal yourself but take care of the wounded parts of yourself. By talking to those wounded parts and explaining to them that now “you are in a safe place”. Talking to your inner child who suffered that pain, and telling your inner child she/he “is no longer in danger”.

Go to an experienced Clinical Hypnotherapist who understands what you are going through, or someone like a Shaman, Curandera/healer. They could help too.

I understand now, how trauma interferes with relationships, and friends after you have survived all this. I would love to help others to heal as well.

Continue to understand that subconsciously and not understanding why you’ve reacted to something like you did, was because of something that happened to you that has changed you to someone you really do not recognize yourself!

Remember, “you are not alone!”

As an adult now, I have volunteered my services by working with children from 5 years old to 18 years of age. I have been volunteering for the past 15 and some years now. Showing children, both girls, and boys, “We will be OK and you are not alone.”

For more information on how you can help a child or get help. Located in Washington State. You can get on the Web and type onto {campvictoryforchildren.org) or call 360-791-7566 ask for Andera, Camp Victory Director.