Let’s see, how could this happen? Well, there could be, like in my case, a very violent and neglectful father, who got my mother pregnant and was forced by my grandfather to marry my mother in a real-life “shotgun marriage.” As my mother told me this story, she later loved my father and had eight more children from him. I say she loved him because she put up with his drinking, beatings, and cheatings in their marriage. I, being one of the older ones, remember a lot of the unfortunate times.
One of my siblings was having a hard time in her life and said she went through a past life regression at her church and relived her life as in our mother’s womb. She remembered, our Mom crying a lot. She was in pain and very sad. Suddenly, my sibling started crying uncontrollably and was awakened out of hypnosis. As she related this story to me, I did recall my Mother telling me horrifying stories about my fathers’ abuse. But, yet I remember my Mother being a strong woman. She had children whom she loved more than life. I remember my Mother telling us she wanted more for her children. She died at an early age of 52 years old from a car accident, that only my father survived. (Just our luck.)
I felt I was born with trauma along with some of my other siblings. Hearing and witnessing my father viciously assaulting my Mother, the effect of the stress and our terrified mother suffering while pregnant, her hormones secreted past thru her umbilical cord to her terrified unborn children. All this is passed on to the unborn child.
I was talking to one of my brothers and he stated I was born “mean” and” heartless” since I was a little girl. I remember I was always angry, scared of being separated from my Mom. I hated my brothers and sisters.
I asked my Mom, “Why did you have so many kids?” Mom said, “You were all a gift from God”. Now at my age, I know what happened, no need to blame God… Imagine hearing your father constantly yelling “What! Another useless girl! And later Raping this little girl, at age of 5, “because that’s all they are good for!”
I made bad choices in marrying the same kind of men as my father, repeatedly. Later, I woke up and wanted something more for myself and my children. I could have winded up on drugs, mentally ill, or in jail, or prison. Believe me, I still have issues and am trying to work through them. Trauma is something that is with you whether you know it or not. It attacks you and those you love. Checking on yourself is a 24/7 job. It is not easy.
Trauma… (sigh…) Today, I have worked with the chronic mentally ill for over 23 years and gathering information, pieces of training, and experiences in healing. I also volunteer at an all-girls program for sexually molested girls from the age of 5 to 18 called Camp Victory.
If you want more information about how you can help or volunteer can be found at “campvitoryforchildren.org”
You, empowered to help others is a good way to “survive” and help other victims cope and have hope for a better life.
