Author: Rosa M Luna

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Coping with Trauma

Every person experiences traumatic events that cause stress; whether it is a coronavirus, plane crash, a traffic incident, or any violent crime, you may feat intense depression and fear or feel numb. Repeated exposure to an incident can overwhelm your mind with stress just as you experience the event firsthand. Its how you deal with it that effects the rest of your life.

Traumatic events can destroy your sense of wellbeing, leaving you helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world. But there are so many ways to calm your mind, regain your emotional balance, and coping with trauma.

Don’t ignore your feelings

It may seem great, when you avoid your feelings, an emotion like anger or frustration, they do exist, and as you already know, it is hard to stop those emotions.  Instead, ask yourself why are they so intense? Yes, you get angry, but so intensively, and why? So much so, that you could hurt yourself or sadly a loved one, like your child or a beloved family member. Believe me, you will regret that.

Continue giving attention to them or not. Even intense and strong feelings will pass if you simply allow yourself to think about what you feel and why?

  • Be patient and calm with the pace of recovery.
  • Be prepared for difficult and violent emotions.
  • Find your source of belief and strength.
  • Find your purpose for living and for going on (vocation, children, family, or friends).

Re-establish your routine

After the traumatic event, try to get back to your regular routine(s) as soon as possible, it will help you to cope with your trauma, anxiety, and distress. Even if your daily life is disrupted, you can plan a schedule of eating, sleeping, work, spending time with your family and friends.

Utilize a timer or alarm if needed. We seem to space out and loose time.

Put significant life decisions on hold

The big decision of life like about home, work, or family, while traumatized, will make you more depressed  and stressful, and there is a chance of making bad decisions when you are not correctly in your senses. Try to wait for some time until life has settled down and you will be able to think correctly.

Get moving or exercise

Physically, an activity also helps calm your nervous system and helps you move on with the traumatic event.

Trying exercise that is rhythmic and engages your whole body, walking, running, and swimming are an excellent choice to help your mind and body.

Add mindful elements by focusing on your soul, how it feels when you move. Feel the rhythm of your breathing, your feet hitting the ground, or the relaxed feeling of wind on your skin can calm your mind and body.

Mediate, going into your feelings, by taking breaths, closing your eyes, placing the white light of source energy for healing. Your white light could come from anywhere, like the sky or a tree…

Loving yourself is another issue to work on. How do you feel about yourself?

You are your best friend. Look in the mirror, re-introduce your friend and activate your relationship with him or her. Sounds corny, but it works.

Boost your energy and motivate yourself to exercise; start by dancing and moving around. Once you start moving around here and there you will feel more energetic.

Get yourself a proper sleep

After experiencing a traumatic or stressful event it is difficult to get proper sleep. Worries and fears may keep you up late at night, or bad dreams may disturb you.

The following things may help you have a better sleep.

  • Avoid caffeine in the afternoon or evening.
  • Do something relaxing before going to bed.
  • Make your bedroom soothing and quiet.
  • Sleeping heals you inside and out.
  • Do not take addictive sleeping pills.
  • Melatonin could assist, it is a natural medication.
  • Meditation, talking to your spirit guides, or angels.
  • Ask, and it shall be given.

Be kind

Accept a compliment and give one as well. What will it hurt? You will see what it does to others and to you. The receiver will feel like they received a gift. So will you.

Also, it is a way of keeping the flow of a good thing going. You will be surprised at how much better you will feel, Thinking of others, instead of just yourself.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

There are many of us, not just you and me going through this hellish trauma.

Being and living is an example of healing. You made it.

Rejoice in the abundance of being alive. Awaken each morning and have another experience of a new day, to do better, and heal yourself to change into a better person, and make the world a little better each day.

Associate only with inspirational people and self-healers.

Many Blessings.

 

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Healing from Trauma

Trauma is defined as something that throws us off balance. It is a state of confusion and forces us to shut down emotionally. Traumatic events can damage your senses, leaving you hopeless and vulnerable in this world. We will explain to you how to heal from trauma.

What happens with your body when you are traumatized?

Overproduction of stress hormones:

If you are consistently in a state of trauma, your stress hormones stay active and keep you in a state of high alert. You might experience a trembling startle response that reminds you of the traumatic event.

You will feel the fight or freeze mode:

You’ll either fight against your trigger or run from it; you will feel paralyzed. You may experience sleep disorders, and you may hate meeting people or isolate yourself.

Trauma is linked to future health problems.

Stress from a traumatic event can have long-term health effects:

  • Heart and liver chronic disease
  • Gastrointestinal illness
  • Cancer
  • Anxiety
  • Emotional numbness
  • Memory lapses
  • Distractibility
  • Diabetics
  • Many other unexplained illnesses.

I have a clientwho  suffered trauma, as a young child and because the body remembers, her body started to deal with the trauma that had not be resolved.

. This client was trying, but her body was reacting to her some unresolved symptoms of trauma.

Its important to love yourself. Doing things you enjoy, dancing, reading, or something that lightens up your heart.

At 14 years old she had to be hospitalized with pendezides.  Spend a week in the hospital recovering from that. Then she lost her touciles “repressed emotions”, later her gallbladder, “not been able to let go “bitterness. This is according to Louise Hays “ yu can heal your life.

today at 45 she is going through healing from diverticulitis, an illness where doctors had to take out 18 inches of her intestines. “She is spilling out her guts”. Physically.

Because spiritually she is unable too.

We need to heal ourselves by changing what is happening to us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. There is no need to continue with unresolved issues. They no longer serve us.

There are some phases of trauma recovery:

Safety and stabilization:

This phase aims to feel safe and secure. Trauma makes you feel uncertain in your body, and it can take months or years to feel safe and secure again. Depending upon the severity of trauma and how well you process it with your will-power.

The first step is to identify which of your emotions are linked with trauma, like intense fear or depression, and then learn how to manage and heal from these emotions. You can help this with the help of your loved ones or talking to a therapist. Getting help thru a mental health professional.

Remembrance and mourning:

The second phase is to name your trauma. Begin to use words and emotions to give a name to trauma and explain your situation to your friends or have counseling from a therapist to reduce your trauma and heal you. Give yourself time to grieve and express your feelings.

Reconnection and integration:

The third phase is about giving new hope to you for the coming future. Let you redefine yourself in a healing process. Take some steps to reclaim your personal will-power. Add a Mindful element, and meditation can also calm and help you as well. Mindfulness helps you to live in the current moment rather than thinking of the past.

Post-traumatic growth:

The fourth phase is post-traumatic growth. In this phase, you may be changed by your experience of trauma. Post-traumatic growth is experienced when positive mental health experiences are experienced, which raises you to a higher level of functioning than you otherwise have achieved.

Achieving recovery:

By going through these phases successfully, it will be time to entirely free from the traumatized life and live a meaningful and rewarding life. Recovery from trauma gives a person new meaning to his life and the strength and secret of living a happier life.

Learning to let go and acceptance can be vital to healing from emotional trauma. You must allow yourself the opportunity to heal. I now look back at the past with love and choose to learn from my old experience. The past is over and gone , you cannot change that,  I can control Only my experience of this moment, to love myself, for being me. Loving me for bringing myself through this past as a survivor. I share with you, who I am. We are all connected spiritually, Now, we are now well.

Many Blessings to you.

 

 

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Do Black People Suffer More Trauma?

I was reading an article about Black Lives Matter. You know, I believe they get the blunt effects of racial issues. This continues repeatedly. I recall reading in a magazine when I was very young.

I remember one story about a young black girl who had gotten all dressed up to go to a friend’s wedding event. Her family found her raped and dead, killed with her nylons wrapped around her neck. Right there in the bushes of her own home. She almost made it home.  That magazine was full of stories like that.

Very depressing. But it explained to you how to be safe. After reading about these kinds of things does place doubt about being safe. With cameras everywhere now, I did see a video of a Mexican man being given extremely unnecessary force.

After police had him handcuffed and down on the ground, one of the other officers got his police dog out of the police car and directed it to bite on the Mexican man already cuffed and down on the ground and been held down by other officers.

I do have to admit that one of the officers holding this man down looked disturbed by the other officers’ stupid actions.

As much as we do need our police force, “one bad apple spoils the rest of the whole bunch” as an old saying says. I don’t remember who says this saying. “Pero, por uno los pagan los de mas.” Another saying in the Latino community. Translation: “Because of one person, we all have to pay.”

A lot of us, black or brown, get discriminated against enough. But too, if you are a smart woman no matter what color you are, many of us are being discriminated against. We are just not being paid our worth. A coworker looked up my wage and said I was being paid too much for my grade of education and announced it in a staff meeting.

Discrimination! Discrimination!  everywhere. Will this ever end?           The world is going through this repeatedly, everywhere!

Back to the title, “Do black people suffer more trauma?” and discrimination? YES! Especially from the older generation. They raise their children to be racist and their children teach their children and the “beat goes on” and on.    Racism is taught. It just doesn’t happen.

This brings me to something that I remember when I was in junior high. I was walking home for lunch from school. A car stopped beside me and the white boys grabbed me by my hair and cleared their throats on my hair.

I pulled away crying. I ran inside my house and my mother helped me wash my hair she said, “I was so lucky.” I yelled out “LUCKY! In which way?” mom said, “They could have pulled you into the car and raped you, or worst, killed you afterward.” Yeah, ok, but I still did not feel lucky.

Many of us, have learned ways of surviving many circumstances or maybe, we have learned and taught ourselves just to survive and/or adapt to some of the societal ways so that our lives can continue.

Many Blessings.

 

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How do Shamans and Curandero Healers Heal Trauma Victims?

A curandero is someone who practices Curanderismo in Hispanic culture. A curandero is a spiritual leader in the community. They treat people who have had a traumatic incident in life or experienced unusual circumstances.

My mother was a curandera, as was her mother and her grandmother generation upon generation.  Mama Luna was a very magical curandera. As a curandera, she’d heal adults, children, and infants of some childhood illness.

La mollera, is one of the infirmities that I would see my mom heal infants from. La mollera is that soft spot on the center top of the infant’s head. It would fall and it seems to appear like a small hole on top of the infant’s head. If it was not even with the skull, the baby would get fuzzy, cry frequently, sometimes get colic. The baby would not be able to get appropriate sleep. After la mollera would get lifted and the baby would instantly fall asleep and from then on,  get the much needed sleep.

Curanderismo is not just for anyone. The curandera would get the skills handed down to them from another curandera or curandero. Especially if they are in the family. My mother told me I had the power within me to become a curandera.

Of course, I did not listen or learned her modalities. I was very religious and did not study beside her as is the tradtion. Years later, here I am following in her footsteps. Except I use hypnotherapy, took it in colledge, and Reiki teachings. I teach Reiki and attune everyone who is willing to study and practice it.

Healing Power of the Curandero

The curandero dates back to Hispanic people’s lives from Mexico and other South American countries and now, here in the United States of America. Curanderos seem to be the masters of their skills in healing traumatized patients. The curanderos’ gifts to heal come from God.

The three types of curanderos are herbalists; yerberos is one, the second is partera which means midwife, and the third is massaera which means the massage therapist.

Curanderos have exquisite skills of healing patients. They have a variety of solutions to the problems brought to them.

Shamans

Shamans are similar to the curanderos, who plays the role of healer and spiritual leader in their community. Historically, shamanism was the first religion of humanity and has been in existence for more than 99% of our existence.

Most shamans are men, and very occasionally women.

While shamanism regularly gave way to extra bureaucratic religious strategies over the millennia, the religion itself did not disappear; instead, it took new forms.

The shaman’s critical conduct is to go into an altered state of a person’s focus, which induces via drumming. Occasionally, they may try this through psychological practices, which include sensory overload or sensory deprivation. In some instances, the shaman ingests plant hallucinogens or gives them to his customers.

The shaman controls the trance effectively. The shaman uses this state to see into the client’s destiny or to contact the spiritual entities by using his religious entities. These then call and conquer the evil, negate hexes, curses, neutralize witchcraft, and restore the client into good health.

Next, is the psychotherapy method about behavior modification                                                                                         

It has been observed that shamanic research is packed with the analysis of magic and his descriptions. The shaman plunges a knife into his parka. Under it, he has hidden an animal bladder complete of blood, which spurts everywhere around; it is not unlike a stage magician. This attests to his incredible powers.

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive Restructuring focuses on the shaman’s rationality. Despite his theatricality and changed states of consciousness, the shaman is a rational and empirical person. He combines capabilities in botany, pharmaceuticals, and psychology. He is quick to give recommendations in his recovery capacity.

Shamen also have an impressive and fantastic list of healing plants and animals, that they grow or gather. Indeed, rational and empirical methods are shamanic healer’s strength and power.

We have told various methods and techniques of how do shamans and curanderos/healers heal trauma victims.

The curanderos and shamans are the most famous and have multiple skills to remove physical or mental illness inflicted by adverse circumstances.

For more information you can contact me, at RosaMLuna.com

 

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The Effects of Unresolved Trauma

There is proper treatment for trauma victims. Also, they don’t have to live with unresolved trauma. Unresolved trauma can follow us throughout life.

Trauma imprints on our mind and body for an extended time. But in some cases, it is observed that many people forget about traumatic episodes from their past. Nonetheless, that trauma has an impact on our actions for the rest of our lives. Unresolved trauma affects us in many ways as we respond to life circumstances with fear, phobias, stress, low self-esteem, and many more emotional responses, and physical illnesses.

Our many habits are developed from our childhood experiences and into our adulthood. If we have had a traumatic childhood, then it follows us into adulthood.

We could think that we had a perfect childhood, but in reality, you just forgot your trauma. Yet, your body didn’t forget. And it demonstrates a clear impact on your physical and psychological state of mind when in adulthood, if not at an earlier young age, like in your teens.

For example, one of my friends lost her parents in her young childhood. At that tender age, she faced the trauma of losing her parents. Whenever she remembers those emotions, she suddenly goes into a daydreaming state due to that emotional stress.

That’s when her psychologist realized that whenever she feels the emotional stress associated with the loss of her parents, she falls asleep for up to 2 to 5 minutes.

Through hypnosis, they were able to determine that this action occurs when she gets herself in a stressful position, remembering her parent’s death.

To divert that feeling, she suddenly slept so that her mind adapts that action and repeats it whenever needed.

Chronic Depression

In this situation, the person seems to be affected by the pain which he endures in their antiquity and it imprints in the patient’s mind as an emotionally traumatic incident, whenever he is targeted on that particular body part unless he is cured of that pain or disease he/she still feels that pain because in the past it was very hard to endure.

Nightmares

A person who is dealing with this situation often sees horrifying, disturbing nightmares regarding this traumatic event. He may face sleeping disorders or restlessness during the whole day. This person could be afraid of going to sleep. If this is happening, please get help. Things could get much worse.

Hypersensitive

A patient who suffers from any traumatic event may become quite hypersensitive towards their relationships, social bonds, friends, family, and could look like a typical attention seeker.

If you suffer from traumatic hypersensitivity, you might not understand what is happening. You know you are being irrational, and you might ask, “What is happing to me?” Please get some help or talk to others who understand exactly what you are going through. Join a support group. Get some help.

Anger Issues

The most common cause in anger issues is an increase in aggression level that disturbs your social circle. And you can act violently when this kind of response doesn’t really make sense. You may not notice your behavior, but you can hurt many precious loved ones and friends. Why are you so angry? Talk to somebody. GET HELP!

Look within yourself. You can make up anything that makes you feel better. You could justify, lie to yourself, but look deep inside and find out what is going on. I would get so mad and angry. I could have hurt somebody. Believe me, you could hurt somebody. You will regret it. it could also be your own child. Sad, right?

Feeling Isolated or Lonely

In this situation, you might feel like no one loves or cares about you. You could think, “They don’t even know that I exist.” So, you want to isolate and avoid social gatherings. You feel that your presence is an imposition among other people. Please get help.

Panic Attacks

Panic attacks are the most disturbing situation. You will have a hard time trying to sidestep this situation easily. Some of the simple ways to get rid of panic attacks are meditation, breathing exercises, and increasing your willpower. Get into yoga or similar types of soul connection groups.

Having Suicidal Thoughts

Danger! Danger! That’s one of the most dangerous situations. It impairs your thinking power and can lead you to end your life. This is definitely not the answer. STOP!!

In my opinion, one who is suffering from unresolved trauma must seek out expert advice.

Not to waste time thinking about how to resolve this on your own. Because if it exceeds the acute level, it can destroy us, and all who love and depend on us. I wanted to try this at one time. I had my kids, and I thought, “Who was going to finish raising them?” They had nobody, and the trauma they would have suffered would have been devastating for my children. How selfish of me!

Please get help.

Talk to an expert and call upon your spirit guides and angels.

Many blessings to you.

 

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Being Successful After Suffering Trauma

People usually think that after trauma, their life will be finished. But that is not true. With the help of strong will-power, you can be successful after traumatic stress. This article will tell you how to be successful after trauma and achieve something bigger after trauma.

Education:

To move from the process of trauma to growth, you should first educate yourself about the trauma.

Let’s take an example, many of us believe that we are safe from endangering diseases; bad things only happened in other places but cannot harm us in any way. Unfortunately, none of that was true. Now, we must change our perceptions and figure out what to believe instead of false perceptions.

Emotional Regulation

A person should be in the right frame of mind to do any learning. The first step is to start managing negative emotions such as anxiety, guilt, and anger, which can be easily done by shifting the kind of thinking that takes you to those feelings.

Instead of focusing on your losses, failures, uncertainties, a try to think about your success, consider best-case possibilities, and reflect all those success factors on your company’s resources, and think carefully that as a person, what can you do for a big achievement.

Disclosure

This is the part of the ongoing process in which you talk about different scenarios of what has happened and is happening; its effects short- and long-term, personal, and professional. This kind of thing helps everyone make sense of the trauma and turn thoughts into productive reflections.

If you’re helping someone to talk about what it’s been like to experience this crisis, asking many questions can seem like you are more curious rather than concerned. However, it is important to care about others, make sure they want to discuss this information.

It’s best to focus on how others take your concern and what kinds of words are correct to use.

Narrative Development

It is the step in which you have to produce the narrative story about the trauma and the reflection of afterwards to accept the chapters already written and imagine crafting the next ones in a meaningful way. Your traumatic story and the stories of people you’re helping can and should be about a traumatic past that leads to a better and bright future.

Service

People do better after the process of trauma if they find work that benefits others and helps people close to them or their broader community or victims of events similar to the ones they have endured. So, help others who are having similar problems, who are facing difficulty in overcoming similar anxiety disorders. This can give you a sense of growth, a satisfying, and peaceful life.

 

Be patient while in the process of dealing with trauma. Those who are practicing in this field know that timing is important. Growth is a long procedure  and it takes time.

However, when you and your other traumatized individuals are ready, it is worth the effort. Let’s promise to ourselves that we learn from the crisis and do something productive.

Many Blessings to you.

 

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How did Christ (as in the bible book Christ) manage his trauma?

Speaking about trauma, how about Christ? I was just at church and since it will be Christmas soon, I started thinking how about Christ according to the bible “Christ” suffered also due to the fact that he knew he was going to be sacrificed.

I remember reading Christ praying to God about does he have to go through this? John 2:4. Jesus knew his hour was coming.

Was there any way He could be spared?  John 1:29

Christ prayed to be given the strength and courage to go through what was needed from him. John 10:17, Luke 22:44

Christ experienced all the pain and suffering that a human could go through. He cried for his friend whom he felt love for (Lazarus). Upon coming to Lazarus’ home and finding out that Lazarus was dead.    John 11:35. Jesus cried.

Jesus sweat blood, being in agony as he prayed, as He asked for strength, Luke 22: 43,44.

When an individual feels compromised, the intelligent sensory system upsets our adrenaline, and organs are charged with a hurtful substance and goes into high alarm, like when Jesus suffered for 3 hours hanging on the cross. It was very agonizing for him. There were so many wounds that he finally died.

Scriptural Advocate

As indicated by the Worldwide Association of Scriptural Advisors, biblical guiding concentrates cautiously, to find those regions where territories of the Christians who insist on the standards of the sacred text. Figuring out how to be affectionate towards all and show love to one another,

  • Through Jesus, we learned to love one another. John 13:34
  •  For whosoever who finds me, finds life and shall find favor of the Lord. Proverbs 8:35
  • Jesus is the same yesterday, and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
  • God himself, is the one who heals me.  Exodus 15:26
  • My Lord restores in health and heals my wound. Jeremiah 30:17
  • By his wounds, I am healed. Isaiah: 53:5
  • My Lord heals all my diseases. Psalm 103:3

In the Book of scriptures, we can get help to being recuperated from traumatic functions, it gives us hope.

We live in a reality, where we are given hope as we include a greater spiritual power, which in every way you can hold on to hope. The Bible’s book of scriptures will cover you with its conclusions.

The bible’s reliability is a shield. Sometimes, it is hard to believe in the simplest things as having faith, hope, and love. We all need to have a purpose. somethings that give a sense of purpose. Jesus’ purpose was to die for our sins, John 3:16.

Our purpose is to make this world a better place for us and those around us. Being examples. Healing ourselves from sadness and depression. Let’s do something to change our environment, the place that we live, and how we live if we are not satisfied. Remember, you are in control of what happens to you. Believe in a higher power. Your higher self.

Learn a new way of praying, like meditation. Examine opportunities for the vibrational resonance that might be found in yoga, dancing, or doing something that will change your mood. Try to be more joyous, happy, or at least content.

Try spiritual enlightenment.

Seek to meet your life guides or angels and talk to your higher self. In fact, try connecting to www.abraham-hicks.com. I guarantee you’ll enjoy listening to her. Ester will bring you joy.

 

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Connections Between Bullying and Trauma

Bullying is a kind of internal aggression from an individual. It can cause various disorders. If the bullying behavior is repeated over time it can lead to severe trauma. Bullying actions are like giving threats and using your physical power to bully others or somehow teasing others.

Both trauma and bullying relate like children who are traumatized at the age of teens can bully others or could be bullied by someone. The bully is never ignored or acceptable in our society. A person who bullies becomes unamiable and lacks hope that this behavior can change. Continuous bullying can lead to the following disorders:

Psychological Disorder

Psychological damage is the result of distress bullying. Mental disability can cause emotional integration. It involves a strong feeling of stress, depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, loss of confidence.

Bullying can alter the level of stress hormones. The victim’s mind is full of thoughts of gloomy complexion the person been bullied. That individual can become unsociable always wanting to be alone, Sadness can affect the rest of that person’s life, self-esteem, behavior, being irritated all the time, unable to interact with others, and more to come as adults. But will learn to cope with bullying as individuals learn more coping skills.

Bulling and trauma cause self-esteem issues, feelings of guilt, shame, and difficulty in speaking, feeling incapable of accomplishments, thoughts of not deserving of life, difficulty making choices, and being indecisive. “I am worth nothing”.

The most bullying environment for children is at school, and academic institutions are spreading rumors of that child. The child starts missing school and stops going to the cafeteria. Appearing very afraid of going to school, is sad all the time, taking no interest in organized activities. And students who do not want to study he/she begins to perform poorly at school and school activities will be unable to defend him/her self from those who are bullying.

The child responsible for bullying others also affects their interest in bullying others no more concentration in their academic records. They gain more popularity because of bullying others. Which is like an award to them.

The academic management should take precautions in these bullying trauma cases to improve our society. Teach kids about bullying in school classes.

Final Thoughts

I know bullying is such an immoral act and causes a severe impact on individuals’ mental and physical states of mind and trying to cope with the trauma of been bullied.

We may have to seek professional help for our children and those who have been affected by such a traumatizing act of injustice.

Many individuals attempt suicide due to traumas from bullying. And now they are many consequences regarding this traumatic bully situation in schools or institutions. Nowadays, especially children who are suffering from this kind of mistreatment in school, have many resources, in school or at home.

Telling someone about these situations can bring relief most of all peace of mind. There is always a lot of talk about situations like this and help is just a phone call away. This too is getting help for the bully as well. What is happening to this child that he/she has to cause pain to another.

So, talking to someone will bring help to that person who is doing the bullying as well. Doing something or saying something to a trusted adult or parents, the first step to being safe.

 

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How can Trauma turn you into a better person?

You look all round you as you step out into society, there’s people who are talking to themselves, some yelling out loud to themselves, you know that they could have a mental illness of some sort.

Other people who’s faces you see are frowning. But then you see children, they are laughing, playing with something and giggling. Aww… to be free again like that, without a worry of how are we going to be paying the rent and bills. What is making us so unhappy? There are a lot of people out there who are not happy. They are not even content!

Everyone prays that they will be able to avoid the worst things of life, like accidents, illnesses, loss of a loved one, or loss of their job. Fortunately, a few of us will get through life just fine.

According to PTSD research, 75 percent of people will experience a traumatic event in their lifetime.

These traumatic events will create significant pain. A near miss of a life loss, can also be a powerful push for positive change. Was I spared to do something better with my life? Is there a reason, some of us are not crippled by life’s experiences.

Post-traumatic growth can be transformative. Many people I interviewed for my book told me that despite the physical pain and the daily struggles they faced, their lives were unquestionably are better today than before their traumatic experiences. Why? Do you know?

The following steps should be included to overcome trauma:

  • You show respect to yourself for doing better than expected.
  • Don’t let their feelings prevent you from living a better life.
  • You can help by encouraging another person that their reactions to trauma are normal.
  • Offer practical support and understanding.
  • Stop thinking about negative things. It takes effort and focus for this.
  • Honor yourself and others who you know are successful without using drugs and alcohol to heal their pain .
  • Your trauma experience does not define you!

What is the best therapy for Trauma?

Traditional Therapeutic Approaches to Help You Heal from Trauma  

Pharmacotherapy is the use of medications to manage disruptive trauma reactions. I truly, do not believe in taking medication. I do understand it could come in handy as a temporary method to combat overwhelming feelings. I would not use it myself, unless my life stayed in chaos for 6 mouths.

  • Behavior Therapy.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
  • Talk Therapy
  • Psychodynamic Therapy.
  • Simply talking to others who have succeeded with healing trauma at group therapy (you will be able to associate with others who are successful and make new friends).

Does Trauma make you a better person?

Traumatic events can agitate us to the core, leaving us in shambles both mentally, physically, and emotionally  But stop thinking negatively. Psychologists are also finding that traumatic actions can change us into more robust, better individuals.

How do you healthily deal with Trauma?

Following are some ways to take care of yourself while you’re getting over a trauma:

  • Become aware of your environment make it safe for you.
  • Be able to forgive yourself and others, if possible, if not “be willing to try”
  • Learn to let go of what no longer serves you.
  • Self awareness that you do not have to be a victim.
  • You are a survivor.
  • Take it one day at a time.
  • Eat healthy, nutritious meals and snacks.
  • Schedule time for nature walks, exercise, dance, jump up and down to circulate your energy.
  • Listen to your body and learn its signals to depression, headaches, ask yourself why?
  • Attend support groups, church, or go somewhere safe to meet others.
  • Stay away from bars or clubs.
  • Consider talking about your feelings with someone you trust.

Remember you are not alone, look around you, there are happy people around you, they are in a place where they can help you and others.

Many of us have had some sort of trauma.

We are survivors.

Go and help the children who will soon become adults. Volunteer to save them and show them that they will be alright and so will you.

 

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How does trauma affect your love in a relationship?

We all have this fantasy, that we can find a healthy relationship. To be fall in love, and be loved back. To find someone we can be very compatible with, someone who we can share our deepest secrets, yet not be judge.  Get to know each other, enjoying each other’s company, excited to be with one another at the end of the day. Live happily ever after. I have seen couples that seem to be that way, but later I find out It was not always that way. Realistically, it takes a lot of work, hardship and more work to stay in a relationship. What if we suffered a painful or violent relationship? Now it is affecting your way of life, your children, now what kind of a decision will you be making? What if you have sub-consciously attracted another abusive relationship?

Whether the trauma was physical, sexual, or emotional, the impact can show up in a host of relationship issues. Survivors often believe deep down that they can’t trust anyone. Intimacy is dangerous, and for them, a real loving attachment is an impossible dream. Many tell themselves they are flawed, not good enough, and unworthy of love. I was always told “I was broken”. I felt like “yes, that is so so true.” How can I be fixed? Am I doomed?

Living through traumatic events can result in expectations of danger within new or old relationships. Survivors may feel vulnerable and confused about what is safe, and therefore it may be not easy to trust others, even those they trusted in the past. Trauma could also bring an illness called “Co-dependent”.

Your most passionate relationship might be a trauma bonding, what is this?

A trauma bond is essentially the process through which you begin to confuse abusive behavior for love. I remember I had a client that was from another country and was taught that if the man did not “hit” you, he did not love you”.

It took some time to explain, but that here in the United States there are laws that protects people, men or women from violence against each other. Also I explained how dangerous that type of thinking would be for her female daughters. Took some work, but now my client is married and in a non-violent relationship.

Trauma bounding is similar to Stockholm Syndrome, in which a person is held captive and starts having feelings of trust or affection for the person who has captured them and held that person against their will. This kind of survival strategy survival can also occur in a relationship called Trauma Bonding; it can occur when a person is in a relationship with a narcissist.  A person, with exaggerated feeling of self-importance, lacks empathy, arrogant behavior and sense of entitlement. WOW! Does’ this sound like an on of my ex’s or what!

Your close relationships, and especially your partner, should be a positive addition in your life. Of course, there will be times, you are  going to argue with your partner. You’re never going to be completely happy with him or her all of the time. Still, your interactions with them should generally be more  positive and should not leave you in an emotional, mental or fragile crisis, feeling worthless or depressed or scared for your safety.

Trauma bonding isn’t loved. Many other dark things have been combined with love but not love itself.

To heal from a trauma bond, you may need to find professional help. You will most possibly need to cut off contact with that abusive person, focus instead on resolving the existing issues in your life. Get help , if you feel you cannot live without that person. You could be suffering from Co-Dependency, number one symptom…Denial

Determine what attracts you to them in the first place, find the reason why your relationship bond didn’t work, point out the red flags that you’d like to be aware of in the future. Address any sub-conscious issues about your love that you might not realize you should have. For example, if you had an upset parent, you could face neglect with ideal love. Sometimes this came from unstable parenting.

Children whose families do not provide consistent safety, comfort, and protection may develop coping methods that allow them to survive and function from day today. They may be overly sensitive to others’ moods, always watching to solve what the elders near them are feeling and how actually they will behave to others.

Can you find a healthy relationship? Yes… you will mentally and emotionally know when you are ready. Do not loose hope. I felt healed enough to find my happily ever after. I know that you can too. Healing IS possible. May God Bless!