Tag: trauma

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Trauma-ties by Rosa M Luna

I am Rosa M Luna, and I am the author of Trauma-ties and this website. I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you about the Trauma-ties book and warn you about its contents before you decide if you want to buy a copy for yourself or not.

Even though much of the information in Trauma-ties is about children, it is not a book intended for children in any way. It is about trauma and includes the story of my chain of trauma which started when I was raped and nearly died at 5 years old, which was only the beginning of my traumatic journey.

The book features my stories of trauma and those of my clients whom I have been blessed to serve and who have also suffered inconsolable trauma. This book is not for the faint of heart or those who are easily offended.

My prayer is that my life is an inspiration for those who are feeling helpless and/or hopeless if they have faced a lifetime of continued drama, trauma, and abuse like I have.

Thank God, I was able to suffer a horrific life, nearly died many times, and miraculously suffered physical abuse that should have left me dead or severely brain-damaged, including religiously inspired physical and sexual abuse. I was even f*cked by the priest regularly who ensured I was a virgin for doing so, just like the Mother Mary.

The church and abuse “in the name of God” is a huge problem in America and the world today. It is not just about sins committed in the name of God against women, which is heard of, but the sins against the children are far more pervasive than any church denomination or religion would ever admit to.

We are only now hearing some of the stories of those who were sexually abused by clergy, religious followers, and family members. This has been going on for thousands of years and has been hidden in secrecy, Only in our modern days are we starting to hear the stories being disclosed by adult victims of religious child abuse.

If you have suffered any kind of trauma, know this

You are not alone

and

There is hope for you

This is my life. I did not die, and I did not end up in prison for trying to defend myself. Instead, I made the decision to stop the abuse, which was a process. I went to college and started expanding my curandero skills which I inherited from my mother. I became a mental health counselor for the State of Oregon and continued my practice of serving mostly women and children victims of abuse.

I turned my traumatic past into a powerful passion-fueled life of service, helping those who feel like there is no hope for them.

Since then, I have retired, but I still remain inspired to reach out and continue to help trauma victims and those who serve them. I will be doing this until the last beat of my heart.

Now you will find me still sharing with people, encouraging them to turn their traumatic past into powerful futures as an Olympian Life Coach. Find happiness, and fulfillment, and contribute in special ways that they are more qualified for than any college-trained “professional.” They have sat in the offices of the professionally trained and were traumatized even more through the process.

But the therapeutic community is changing. I work with, train, and certify trauma advisors, who include my students, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, coaches, and consultants who are positively impacting and spreading light and love throughout the darkness of trauma-ties among victims and empowering them to heal and help others as well.

If you decide to get my book, Trauma-ties, you can get it at any bookstore, or online at Amazon.com.

About Trauma-ties

Rosa M Luna shares her profound insights drawn from her experiences as a child, student, wife, mother, and dedicated State mental health specialist. In her compelling work, “Trauma-ties,” Luna delves into the intricate web of trauma that permeates every aspect of life, offering a unique perspective that only someone who has triumphed over such adversity can provide. Luna’s narrative explores the profound impact of abuse and trauma, illuminating the hidden ties that bind individuals to their past and haunt their dreams.

For those engaged in supporting trauma victims and those ensnared in the chains of trauma, Luna’s words resonate deeply. She emphasizes a crucial message: you are not alone. Within the pages of “Trauma-ties,” readers discover a community of survivors who have walked similar paths, offering solace and guidance. Many have navigated the same treacherous journey and emerged stronger, their experiences serving as beacons of hope for others still struggling.

Luna fearlessly confronts the harsh realities of trauma, shedding light on the intricate process of survival. Her work serves as a beacon of empowerment, reminding readers that it is possible to reclaim their lives from the clutches of trauma. The book challenges readers to confront their experiences, offering a pathway toward healing and the possibility of a future filled with blessings and love. “Trauma-ties” is a poignant and eye-opening account that encourages readers to take proactive steps toward overcoming their past and embracing a life unburdened by the shadows of abuse. Brace yourself for a candid and powerful read that will leave a lasting impact.

 

 

 

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Can Children be afflicted with Trauma by watching T.V.

What an interesting question. My option is yes. Children who are watching a scary movie, may not understand that it and may believe it is real. Children can be affected by trauma by watching T.V.

My grandchildren were twins.  I believe they were 5 years old, at the time, and we were watching a cartoon where four people were going into space, mom, father, and two children, the ship blew up, but mom and dad, placed the children in a different vessel and they lived, but mom and dad died.

They asked the other kids “where are mom and Dad? Someone responded “they died on the ship, aren’t you watching the movie?  Both of my grandchildren started crying uncontrollably,

I tried to explain, that it was just make-believe and it was not a real-life movie. Took me 20 minutes of talking to them to calm them down.  They were ok and went back to watching the movie. They said, “they placed themselves in the movie.”

As a mother, in my time, I did not think too much of what the kids would watch, maybe it was because I explained this part of T.V. watching to my kids. It’s not real.

One movie, that I know of affected my son to this day. He liked watching scary movies too when he was young. He does not like clowns since he watched the movie “it” a clown who killed children.

This movie got to my son up to this day. Currently, he is not as frightened about it as he was when he was a child. He stated it “scared the bejesus out of me”. Still talks about it, when we bring up the twins crying (my grandkids) at that age.

There was another time I was watching a movie with one of my other grandsons. This one bothers me up to this day.

We, my family, and my grandson were watching a movie about aliens who looked like cats, who could turn into humans but to survive living on earth. They had to stay in the human form.

They needed to feed on Virgins, of both sexes. As my little grandson was watching this movie, I turned to him and noticed he was trembling, I picked him up and took him to the other room. He said he wanted to finish watching that movie.

As I put him down, he ran back into the living room and finished watching the movie. I asked him why was he trembling as if he was so scared, and he said “he liked getting scared.” As he grew older,  I asked him again and he stated “I don’t like watching scary movies anymore.”

Later in life, he developed an allergy to cats followed by Asma. Was it because he watched that scary movie about the cats?  He breaks into a rush when he picks up a cat to pet it. What do you think about that?

We really would like our children to grow up healthy, happy, and balanced kids. Now that we know better, we have concerns about what the kids watch or the games they play on T.V. or the computers or game boys. Those other games they take everywhere with them.

I remember, the grandkids having all these games they would carry everywhere they went. Hand-held games. They would play for hours and not pay attention to Nana. There were no conversations anymore.

I wish we could go back to when the kids could play games outside, they would use their imagination to create run after me games. I enjoyed hearing them playing and laughing. I used to make ice-flavored popsicles or homemade ice cones with Kool-Aid flavors, on a hot summer’s day.

Do our young children get affected by these scary movies on T.V. or the games? I believed some do and some don’t. Parents need to be vigilant when it comes to allowing their kids to choose what they can and cannot watch.

Watch a family movie with them. If there is a lesson or some topic that the children could learn from it would be better, right?

Ask them how they feel about what they just saw. You can show something they can benefit from. If you own a cat or dog, they die. Sometime in their lifetime,  they will experience the cycle of life.

Do cats really have nine lives? (that’s another story.)

Many Blessings to you.

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Live Healthier without Repressed Trauma

Trauma can rob you of your youth like a “thief in the night”. When you least expect it, you look in the mirror and see someone you do not recognize. You could live healthier without repressed trauma. So what happened?

For many of us, I would say that 85 percent of people will or have suffered a traumatic event in their lifetime. Some of these events will create significant pain and suffering especially if there is a near-miss of life loss.

Because trauma changes so many body cells, it causes hormonal changes, nerve damage, weakens the immune system, causes premature aging, and can lead to an early grave.

Take twenty years off of your age and add another twenty years to your life (that’s 40 years) just by doing this one thing:

Dealing with Your Repressed Trauma

Fortunately, your neuron cells can be re-wired and affect your mind,  your way of feeling safe in this world, your way of thinking, and solving problems. I could go on and on about the ways trauma damages and changes your life.

Unresolved trauma can affect the choices you make. What kind of boyfriend or girlfriend do you pick? Neglecting your children, losing your job, make you feel extremely angry, or very violent, and if you are aware of that,

“Wait that’s not me!

What is going on with me?”

Not all of us are aware of what we are doing.

I too, have suffered from trauma throughout my life and made bad decisions, and even made bad choices unconsciously without realizing it. Until I verified my actions with a witness I trusted.  I couldn’t believe that person was me.

Posttraumatic growth can be transformative and lead to living a longer more healthy and happy life.

Many people I have interviewed for my book “Trauma-ties,” told me that despite their physical pain and the daily struggles they have faced, some have said that their lives are actually better today than before their traumatic experiences. They make themselves focus more on themselves, what surrounds them, they pay more attention to people who aren’t doing well. They feel like they want to help them. Which before they didn’t want to get involved.

To move from the process of trauma growth, we should first educate ourselves and learn about trauma effects.  The American Psychological Association provided a definition of “trauma” they said,

An emotional response of someone against a special negative instance such as injury by accident, violent attacks bullying, domestic violence, childhood neglect, and many negative actions that leave a mark on your emotional status, and mental stability.

Some symptoms of trauma are Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, guilt, anxiety, hypervigilance, fear, irritability, behavioral issues, flashbacks, excessive anger, violence, panic attacks, loneliness, depression, all these can lead one open towards traumatic diseases and suicidal ideation.

Repressed trauma will find its way out. It will express itself in diseases such as diabetes, gastrointestinal diseases, cardiovascular diseases, osteoporosis, or cancer, or in severe psychological disorders requiring mental health services.

This is serious business.

If you are ignoring or pushing down your trauma from the past you are sick and tired and your life is a mess.

There are too many diseases to name them all because we have not dealt with the unresolved traumatic event. We will have to deal with what happened to us. Or make amends to it. Make yourself ok with it.

If you can not heal from it get some professional help. Find a support group, I know you will prefer to stay at home and feel safe, depressed, and you will feel alone.

Shake the dust off you, that you have collected and get over yourself. Get your butt to a support group, I guarantee, you will later, be glad you did. And your life expectancy will increase dramatically. Many blessings and joyful health to you.

 

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How Will COVID-19 Affect Christmas Today?

I feel like we are being imprisoned for something we did wrong. What did we do? We are wearing our masks, staying at home instead of entertaining ourselves outside our homes, like walking through the streets watching the Christmas lights at this time of year. Going to different stores, and also seeing how other people decorated their homes for Christmas.

The shopping malls are open for shoppers, but with limited entries for a certain amount of people only. We also are limited in gathering with our families. This saddens me. I love gathering with my family during these special holidays.

I am going to miss this so much. First, it is going to be my daughter’s birthday. Then it’s my birthday, our survivor’s celebration (Survival Day), then Christmas. We would have many parties during December.

In the past, it was different. What is this Christmas going to look like this December 25, 2020?

With domestic violence already on the rise due to the pandemic restrictions, the holidays are bringing far more trouble to families across America than we ever bargained for.

It’s hard for the authorities and mental health providers to keep up with this growing epidemic, and already, we know that it is the season for increased suicide and violence among all age groups.

While I am writing this article, it is not Christmas yet. In my family, we celebrate during this time, before Christmas, because during the holiday season, many years ago, I was in one of my abusive marriages, and my kids and I escaped from this abuse during this time in December

Now, we use this as an excuse to celebrate our Survival Day. We have been celebrating this day for many years now.

We, as in my three children, their spouses, and my 5 grandchildren, sometimes invite other special people into our lives, but mainly it is, just us.

I am very proud of my children; they are finally free of their childhood trauma. Sometimes we go back and remember what we escaped from. We count our blessings.

In December, my husband had come home and he must have taken drugs because he was acting worse than ever. As I mentioned before in my writings, I would place a quarter in my older daughter’s pants pocket to escape from the house and call the police.  This time, I hid all the knives from the kitchen, told them to leave and go to our neighbors’ home and call the police.

It took the police hours to find my apartment because my daughter could not remember our apt. number. Until finally, in the middle of the night, he fell asleep and as I ran out of the apartment, the police stopped me and asked me if I was the one who had called the police? I said “Yes” and started to run off, and they stopped me saying they could not go in and arrest him unless I came in with them.  I was so frightened. “He was in bed asleep I told them, no weapons, I hid all the knives”.

When they placed him in handcuffs, I took my money (which he had taken from me) from his wallet and I used that money to leave him. We left with only the clothes on our backs. He used to stalk us, even with a restraining order in hand.

Now we celebrate our survival by giving gifts to each other, dinner, and having a fun time with peace of mind, knowing we are now safe to do as we please. My daughter reminded me of our situation back in the day, and how it was through her eyes.

May God continues to bless all of us who have survived, and many blessings to all.

 

 

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Coming Back from Trauma

Phases of Recovery

What are the different phases you go through when coming back from trauma? Psychological trauma occurs as a result of some stressful events in life. It destroys your sense of safety and security and involves a basic threat to life, lack of trust.

Traumatic experiences can be coping, but it takes some time and your ability to blend emotions involved with the experience.

Psychological trauma usually makes a person hopeless and leaves a person struggling with their emotions.

When bad events happen, it can take time to get over the pain and sense of safety and security again.

Whether the trauma happened in past years or yesterday, you can heal from it and can move further into your happy life.

Any instance that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and frightened can be traumatic.

It’s not the purpose that determines whether an event is traumatic but preferably your subjective emotional experience of the event.

Healing from trauma is a personal process, and it looks different for different people.

Your distinctive ability to heal from trauma depends on many things that include your beliefs and perceptions. Your level of coping, connection towards others, and even your psychological functioning before the event.

Overcoming your feelings

The first thing in healing from trauma includes reestablishing feelings of stability and security. Trauma victims have insecure feelings. Regaining a sense of protection involves creating a secure and predictable environment.

Remembrance

The second stage is about processing the trauma and naming it. Begin to use words and emotions to give a name to trauma and explain your situation to your friends or have counseling from a therapist to reduce your trauma and heal you. Give yourself time to grieve and express your feelings.

Reconnection

The third phase is about giving new hope for the coming future. Allowing redefine yourself in a healing process. Take some steps to reclaim your personal willpower. Add a Mindful element.

Meditation can also calm and help you as well. Mindfulness tells you to live in the present moment rather than thinking of the past.

Post-traumatic growth

The fourth phase is post-traumatic growth. In this phase, you may be changed by your experience of trauma. Post-traumatic growth is experienced when positive mental health experiences are experienced, which raises you to a higher level of functioning than you otherwise have achieved.

Recovery

By going through these phases successfully, it will help you to be free from the traumatized life and live a meaningful and rewarding life. Recovery from trauma gives a person new meaning to his life and the strength and secret of living a happier life. You must allow yourself the opportunity to heal.

What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us. We are all responsible for everything in our life.  The best and the worse. Recovering from trauma gives us our control back. Don’t give away your power by blaming another person. We are the only ones thinking for ourselves. We can create peace and harmony and balance in our mind, then we can find it in our lives.

Many blessings to you.

 

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Coping with Trauma

Every person experiences traumatic events that cause stress; whether it is a coronavirus, plane crash, a traffic incident, or any violent crime, you may feat intense depression and fear or feel numb. Repeated exposure to an incident can overwhelm your mind with stress just as you experience the event firsthand. Its how you deal with it that effects the rest of your life.

Traumatic events can destroy your sense of wellbeing, leaving you helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world. But there are so many ways to calm your mind, regain your emotional balance, and coping with trauma.

Don’t ignore your feelings

It may seem great, when you avoid your feelings, an emotion like anger or frustration, they do exist, and as you already know, it is hard to stop those emotions.  Instead, ask yourself why are they so intense? Yes, you get angry, but so intensively, and why? So much so, that you could hurt yourself or sadly a loved one, like your child or a beloved family member. Believe me, you will regret that.

Continue giving attention to them or not. Even intense and strong feelings will pass if you simply allow yourself to think about what you feel and why?

  • Be patient and calm with the pace of recovery.
  • Be prepared for difficult and violent emotions.
  • Find your source of belief and strength.
  • Find your purpose for living and for going on (vocation, children, family, or friends).

Re-establish your routine

After the traumatic event, try to get back to your regular routine(s) as soon as possible, it will help you to cope with your trauma, anxiety, and distress. Even if your daily life is disrupted, you can plan a schedule of eating, sleeping, work, spending time with your family and friends.

Utilize a timer or alarm if needed. We seem to space out and loose time.

Put significant life decisions on hold

The big decision of life like about home, work, or family, while traumatized, will make you more depressed  and stressful, and there is a chance of making bad decisions when you are not correctly in your senses. Try to wait for some time until life has settled down and you will be able to think correctly.

Get moving or exercise

Physically, an activity also helps calm your nervous system and helps you move on with the traumatic event.

Trying exercise that is rhythmic and engages your whole body, walking, running, and swimming are an excellent choice to help your mind and body.

Add mindful elements by focusing on your soul, how it feels when you move. Feel the rhythm of your breathing, your feet hitting the ground, or the relaxed feeling of wind on your skin can calm your mind and body.

Mediate, going into your feelings, by taking breaths, closing your eyes, placing the white light of source energy for healing. Your white light could come from anywhere, like the sky or a tree…

Loving yourself is another issue to work on. How do you feel about yourself?

You are your best friend. Look in the mirror, re-introduce your friend and activate your relationship with him or her. Sounds corny, but it works.

Boost your energy and motivate yourself to exercise; start by dancing and moving around. Once you start moving around here and there you will feel more energetic.

Get yourself a proper sleep

After experiencing a traumatic or stressful event it is difficult to get proper sleep. Worries and fears may keep you up late at night, or bad dreams may disturb you.

The following things may help you have a better sleep.

  • Avoid caffeine in the afternoon or evening.
  • Do something relaxing before going to bed.
  • Make your bedroom soothing and quiet.
  • Sleeping heals you inside and out.
  • Do not take addictive sleeping pills.
  • Melatonin could assist, it is a natural medication.
  • Meditation, talking to your spirit guides, or angels.
  • Ask, and it shall be given.

Be kind

Accept a compliment and give one as well. What will it hurt? You will see what it does to others and to you. The receiver will feel like they received a gift. So will you.

Also, it is a way of keeping the flow of a good thing going. You will be surprised at how much better you will feel, Thinking of others, instead of just yourself.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

There are many of us, not just you and me going through this hellish trauma.

Being and living is an example of healing. You made it.

Rejoice in the abundance of being alive. Awaken each morning and have another experience of a new day, to do better, and heal yourself to change into a better person, and make the world a little better each day.

Associate only with inspirational people and self-healers.

Many Blessings.

 

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How did Christ (as in the bible book Christ) manage his trauma?

Speaking about trauma, how about Christ? I was just at church and since it will be Christmas soon, I started thinking how about Christ according to the bible “Christ” suffered also due to the fact that he knew he was going to be sacrificed.

I remember reading Christ praying to God about does he have to go through this? John 2:4. Jesus knew his hour was coming.

Was there any way He could be spared?  John 1:29

Christ prayed to be given the strength and courage to go through what was needed from him. John 10:17, Luke 22:44

Christ experienced all the pain and suffering that a human could go through. He cried for his friend whom he felt love for (Lazarus). Upon coming to Lazarus’ home and finding out that Lazarus was dead.    John 11:35. Jesus cried.

Jesus sweat blood, being in agony as he prayed, as He asked for strength, Luke 22: 43,44.

When an individual feels compromised, the intelligent sensory system upsets our adrenaline, and organs are charged with a hurtful substance and goes into high alarm, like when Jesus suffered for 3 hours hanging on the cross. It was very agonizing for him. There were so many wounds that he finally died.

Scriptural Advocate

As indicated by the Worldwide Association of Scriptural Advisors, biblical guiding concentrates cautiously, to find those regions where territories of the Christians who insist on the standards of the sacred text. Figuring out how to be affectionate towards all and show love to one another,

  • Through Jesus, we learned to love one another. John 13:34
  •  For whosoever who finds me, finds life and shall find favor of the Lord. Proverbs 8:35
  • Jesus is the same yesterday, and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
  • God himself, is the one who heals me.  Exodus 15:26
  • My Lord restores in health and heals my wound. Jeremiah 30:17
  • By his wounds, I am healed. Isaiah: 53:5
  • My Lord heals all my diseases. Psalm 103:3

In the Book of scriptures, we can get help to being recuperated from traumatic functions, it gives us hope.

We live in a reality, where we are given hope as we include a greater spiritual power, which in every way you can hold on to hope. The Bible’s book of scriptures will cover you with its conclusions.

The bible’s reliability is a shield. Sometimes, it is hard to believe in the simplest things as having faith, hope, and love. We all need to have a purpose. somethings that give a sense of purpose. Jesus’ purpose was to die for our sins, John 3:16.

Our purpose is to make this world a better place for us and those around us. Being examples. Healing ourselves from sadness and depression. Let’s do something to change our environment, the place that we live, and how we live if we are not satisfied. Remember, you are in control of what happens to you. Believe in a higher power. Your higher self.

Learn a new way of praying, like meditation. Examine opportunities for the vibrational resonance that might be found in yoga, dancing, or doing something that will change your mood. Try to be more joyous, happy, or at least content.

Try spiritual enlightenment.

Seek to meet your life guides or angels and talk to your higher self. In fact, try connecting to www.abraham-hicks.com. I guarantee you’ll enjoy listening to her. Ester will bring you joy.

 

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What Are ACEs?

Finally, in 1998 someone decided to make an assessment test. This test was developed at the Center on the Developing Child at the Harvard University.  It has been implemented in many areas to use for screening on children and adults.

I learned that many therapists, phycologists, mental health counselors, life coaches, and anyone who wanted to help anyone, who had suffered a trauma in childhood and because of it, had changed their lives. These people were probably drawn to help others because they, themselves suffered the same kind of abuse or trauma.

Helping others to heal was and always will be the main reason you would want to do something about a severe problem that affected yourself or someone you love and care about.

Nadine H. Burke, a pediatrician M.D. saw evidence in her Center for Youth Wellness in San Francisco and wrote a book called “The Deep Well”. In that book she explains, the assessment test.

Depending on the score you can recognize that a child or person might have been producing unhealthy reserves of stress hormones.  Too much of this hormone in a child can do so much damage to the body. At a young age, this could trigger many illnesses and dysfunctional episodes in life. It can than result in many problems as you come to adulthood.

What are ACEs?

Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Screenings in which the California Surgeon General started implementing that many care givers, mental health providers, and those in a position to assist with helping victims of trauma, receive training guided by Dr. Burke, to use the ACE screenings and how to read them.  We are all effected by this.

The more ACEs a child experiences, the more likely he/she will suffer from things like diabetes, poor academic achievement, heart disease, some sort of substance abuse, and jail, or prison time.

Experiencing a frequent number of ACEs, things like stress from any routine task such as simple daily decision making, even as rudimentary as “What should I wear to work today?” Especially, if you work at a place where you have to be presentable, talk to people, or deal with people’s money.  Like work at a coffee kiosk, flower shop, gas station register, or other working environments where you could be triggered by anything (which most likely would not make sense to anyone else) that could throw you into severe “toxic stress”. This type of excessive activation of stress to the nervous system can lead to long lasting wear and tear on the brain and especially the body.

Today! How about the coronavirus? COVID 19 is a virus/illness that effects the lungs. It can spread from person to person and can be picked up from touching contaminating surfaces. That is why people should wash their hands as often as possible. Especially when getting home. Our children don’t always wash their hands. I have seen parents not wearing masks, taking their children to grocery stores, kids putting their fingers into their mouths, etc. How is it effecting our children?

As we talk about trauma and its effect on our children? Right now, some children do not have much to eat. Some schools are in their kitchens making breakfast, for kids to come in pick up the food and take it home to eat. Some buses are going to rural areas and delivering lunches. I know this because my daughter works for a school district and makes sure the buses are running on time.

But what happens when mom or dad can’t work due to the virus?  Because the virus spreads so quickly, children are stuck at home, they miss their friends, and they should not go outside to play.

Many places are banned at this time, like places of worship, workplaces are closed, children cannot go to school (that’s understandable, a very unsanitary environment). Some adults can’t go to work.

These changes are very stressful for the family as a whole.

I am afraid for the children. How is this new situation affecting them? Who is going to help? That’s why it is important for us to learn about trauma and what we can do about it.

Traumas are often repeated through families and when we address and treat them, we can break the inter-generational cycle. How powerful is that?

 

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What should I call it? Trauma?  PTSD? ADHD?

This subject is a hard subject for many of us who have suffered trauma as a child and as an adult as well. Do the pain and suffering ever stop? Yes, somewhat. But there are times when something or someone will trigger a flashback and if you are not used to dismissing the emotion of it. It could ruin an otherwise happy moment.

I was with a friend having a fun time, but the way he took off his belt from his waist, sent me back to an abusive spouse. My friend was just been playful.  I tried not to let it ruin the fun. I kept it inside and tried to dismiss it and reminded myself inside me, that “I am in a safe place and I am no longer in danger.…”

While the mind tries to forget, the survival part of the brain continues to send signals to the body that it is under a threat. When survivors blow up at a boyfriend or freeze in fear when someone disagrees with them, they rarely realize that these “irrational” reactions are triggered by imprints of a horrifying event from the past.

It’s virtually impossible to revisit those experiences without also reliving the terror and helplessness that accompanied them. Like with the smell of a certain cigarette. I can tell if it is a Camel cigarette brand or not, but most of the time it is a Camel brand. Other cigarette brands don’t get my attention. A little child crying by himself or herself in a corner triggers me. I want to run to them and save them from the monster who is hurting them. What can I do?

Most of us require assistance to feel safe enough to explore those events without also reliving the terror or horror, to truly put our experience in perspective and that ordeal belongs to the past.

If you can safely revisit them you can recognize that we were too small, scared, or powerless to protect ourselves.  Then you can not only heal yourself but take care of the wounded parts of yourself.  By talking to those wounded parts and explaining to them that now “you are in a safe place”. Talking to your inner child who suffered that pain, and telling your inner child she/he “is no longer in danger”.

Go to an experienced Clinical Hypnotherapist who understands what you are going through, or someone like a Shaman, Curandera/healer. They could help too.

I understand now, how trauma interferes with relationships, and friends after you have survived all this.  I would love to help others to heal as well.

Continue to understand that subconsciously and not understanding why you’ve reacted to something like you did, was because of something that happened to you that has changed you to someone you really do not recognize yourself!

Remember, “you are not alone!”

As an adult now, I have volunteered my services by working with children from 5 years old to 18 years of age. I have been volunteering for the past 15 and some years now. Showing children, both girls, and boys, “We will be OK and you are not alone.”

For more information on how you can help a child or get help. Located in Washington State. You can get on the Web and type onto {campvictoryforchildren.org) or call 360-791-7566 ask for Andera, Camp Victory Director.

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Its Not You Its Trauma

How does trauma affect you? Unfortunately, it affects your life’s decisions. Knowingly and sub-conscionably. After a life-changing severe trauma, it doesn’t only change your life, it also changes your body, re-shapes your cells.  If that isn’t enough, it damages and alters our mindset, how can we tell if we are making the right decisions in picking the right relationship? Sometimes we make the same mistakes repeatedly. When trying to heal, do not linger with the symptoms of your experiences with trauma which include preventing you from doing what is your regular daily activities.

It’s a problem when being stuck in a state of panic, procrastination, or depression. But thanks to new research and treatment strategies, it is more possible than ever to emerge from this darkness.

Many therapists and as an Olympian Life Coach, I had noticed a pattern of behavior in some of my clients. I realized after many years of working with them and trying to help others, that most everyone had gone through an experience that kept them from moving forward.

When I asked why, these clients, most of them, had something in common, something very bad had to happen to them.  They could not achieve their goals or keep a job, they would start a job and within a short time span, they would quit or lose that job. They did give me many excuses, “they did not like me”, “I did not like them”. “I could not get them to understand how I felt”, “I called them names, so they fired me.”

Trauma not only affects our brains and ability to function, but it also affects our emotions. Trauma has even embedded itself in our bodies. We slouch, some of us walk with our heads down, heavy stressful moments can affect our nervous system, and we can react with extreme anxiety, or feel like we cannot breathe. Trauma not only clings to us but it makes us feel impaired, sometimes permanently, unable to process what is going on around us, feeling different, and not understanding why.

Is there healing from all that darkness? Each of us has a different way of dealing with life. I believe it is how we were raised. What kind of childhood did you have? Hard knocks teach us at a young age, how to cope with what was been handed to us. A popular phrase is “if all you get is lemons, make lemonade”!

What worked for me just might not work for you. I was raised in what westerners call a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father. So, I was around a lot of arguments and violence. I felt as I was growing up, this was just a normal way of life. My mom always encouraged us (a large family of 14) to do better and make a better life for ourselves. She always said, “I don’t want you to end up, like me.” She was always giving us good advice. I now wished I would have listened more and applied what safety suggestions she offered. My mom knew best what she really did not want us to wind up with. Now I wished I would’ve listened.

Different people make different choices, especially if you do not know what has caused this bad behavior, especially when before all the trauma, you were achieving many things. What happened? Seeing a therapist, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist could help, unfortunately, they may want to get you on some medication, that might help or just slow your brain down. That is something to think about. I feel the best way is to heal without meds. But really the decision is up to the individual.

Healing could come from talking about your experience with others who have overcome the trauma, and some do. The trauma never goes away, but you learn to live around it, disabling its power over you and your life. There are now many different types of support groups out there. Do some research on the Internet and look for what is right for you.

Taking the wires of your brain and re-routing them to re-connect through meditation, can reconnect you to a more active life. No longer being a victim to it. Not letting the trauma or that experience take the best of you.