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Is Trauma Hereditary?

Trauma is defined as a physical and psychological threat or assault to a child’s bodily integrity, sense of self, safety, survival, or to the physical safety of another person significant to the child. Have you ever thought that trauma is hereditary? Do we have to go through a traumatic episode also, as did our father, mother, or family? It does feel that way, when you hear the history of your family.

Early childhood trauma (i.e., those bad things that happen before the age of six) lie at the root of most depression, anxiety, and many other emotional and psychological illnesses. Could this finding be heredities?

Why do some of us in the family continue to suffer with trauma? Are we making these choices for our loved ones? Must it carry on to every generation?

Due to traumatic experiences, children are susceptible to psychological disorders and severe emotional turmoil, often needing trauma therapy assistance.

Heredity trauma is also known as intergenerational trauma.

What causes intergenerational trauma?

Intergenerational trauma can negatively impact families as a result of unresolved emotions and thoughts about just living life. Negative repeated patterns of behavior, including beliefs about parenting and passing on some of the traditional parts of life in a way that families live.

Untreated or poorly-treated substance abuse or severe mental illnesses can or may effect us all in someway or another.

Can you inherit your parent’s trauma?

Many types of research suggest that trauma may be inherited in many aspects. Studies have shown that experiencing trauma may abandon a chemical mark on a person’s genes, which is then passed down to future generations. Can you believe that? It scary to think that we cannot escape this.

Does inherited trauma exist?

Intergenerational trauma is usually seen within one of the parents or grandparents of one family who was traumatized enough, and each period of that family continues to experience trauma in some form or another. In these cases, the origin can usually be traced back to a devastating event, and the trauma is unique to that family. Its almost like a curse. If you believe in curses.

Symptoms of intergenerational trauma:

• Lack of trust of others
• Anger
• Irritability
• Nightmares
• Fearfulness
• Inability to connect to others
• Not getting treatment for the intergenerational trauma

Healing hereditary trauma includes the following therapies, which can break the cycle of trauma:

• Parent-child interaction therapy
• Family therapy
• Family system improvement therapy
• Working through a genogram
• Child parent relationship therapy

Other hereditary intergenerational traditions could include in times of war. Sometimes we follow our forefathers’ tradition of going to war. Parental disorder trauma constitutes an essential health care need of veterans, especially those who recently separated from service. By reviewing studies regarding the strength of several types of trauma found that many of the studies were invalid in composition and performance and that relatively few of these studies have been carried out in veterans’ populations, despite suggestions that civilian and veteran people respond indifferently about many kinds of treatment.

The board also notes that the data is insufficient for potency or generalization of ethnic minority treatment modalities.

Despite challenges in the consistency, quality, and depth of research, the board found the evidence adequate to conclude exposure therapies’ efficacy in treating trauma.

The committee found the evidence inadequate to determine the effectiveness of different pharmacotherapies, three other psychotherapy modalities, and psychotherapy delivered in group formats.

In other words, there was no pure evidence that trauma is or is not really hereditary. Or is it? What do you think?

 

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Coping With Trauma

Every person experiences trauma in different ways. It is different with each of us. Those events that cause stress, whether it is a coronavirus, plane crash, a traffic incident, or any violent crime, you may experience intense depression, fretful  fear, or a feeling of physical numbness.

Repeated exposure to an incident can overwhelm your mind with stress just as if you experience the event again firsthand.

Traumatic events can destroy your sense of safety and peace, leaving you feeling helpless and vulnerable in a dangerous world. But there are so many things that this experience can leave you with.

There is no right or wrong reaction to theses traumatic events.

People usually panic when going thru a traumatic event and react differently to them. You are truly experiencing some things that do not make you feel right, you could feel like you are going crazy, and could definitely use some help.

Don’t ignore your feelings:

It may seem better when you avoid your feelings,  for a short time or be in denial. Do talk to someone about your symptoms. Someone like your doctor who has knowledge of trauma symptoms, or someone like a therapist who has had clients who have suffered with trauma and possesses knowledge of this kind of experience and has been successful in treating trauma victims.

Be patient and calm with yourself and understand that this is part of the recovery.

  •  Know that you will have confused emotions, different thoughts that will make some decisions more confusing. If so, ask yourself why?
  • Try to get back to your daily activities .
  • Find something you enjoy doing.
  • Make life more interesting for yourself.
  • Get involved, doing something you may enjoy, like gardening.
  • Exercising, dancing, running, anything that will rid you of negative energy.
  • Reestablish your routine:
  • Try yoga, meditation, even praying to your creator, angels or whatever, to seek some higher power figure.

After the traumatic event, try to get back to your regular routines as soon as possible it will help you to cope with your trauma like anxiety, stress, paranoia, loneliness, and fear. Do what you must to feel safe again.

Even if your daily life is disrupted you can plan a schedule of eating, sleeping, work, spending time with your family and friends. Doing what you enjoy with friends and even get dog or a cat.

The big decision of life, like buying a home, quitting your job, or leaving family, while still suffering from emotional trauma will make you more depressed and/or stressful, or very angary at yourself or others.  There is a chance of making the wrong choices or decisions when you are not in your right mind. Seek help if you are not feeling yourself after 6 months of suffering with trauma.

Physically, getting involved in an activity also helps calm your nervous system and helps you move on with the traumatic event.

Again, try to exercise in a rhythmic fashion and engage your whole body, walking, running, and swimming are excellent choices to help your mind and body release some of the negative feelings and symptoms.

Add mindful elements by focusing on your mind, body and spirit, how it feels when you move or jump.  Feel the rhythm of your breathing, your feet hitting the ground, or the relaxed feeling of the sun on your skin can also calm your mind and body.

Boost your energy and motivate yourself to exercise. Start by dancing and moving around. Once you start moving around here and there you will feel more energetic.

Get yourself proper sleep:

After experiencing a traumatic or stressful event, it is difficult to have  proper rest or to get to sleep. Worries and fears may keep you up late at night, or bad dreams may disturb you. But getting plenty of sleep, is very healing to your mind, body, and spirit.

The following things can help you have better sleep.

• Avoid caffeine in the afternoon or evening.
• Do something relaxing before going to bed. Breathing exercises, meditations.
• Make your bedroom soothing, quiet, sipping your favorite tea before going to sleep.

Getting into a support group or reading information will help you get more healing ideas. Also call someone who you trust to talk to or someone that you know who has gone through something similar especially if that person is a survivor like you.

 

 

 

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How Do Men Deal With Trauma?

Many of us deal with our sufferings, pain and/ or problems in different ways. If you were raised around males, you will see that they have a different way of dealing and coping with difficult life situations. Or could be, it dependence on how they were told to express themselves as they were growing up.

Have you heard the expression “los hombres no lloran” or “big boys don’t cry”, “You have to take it like a man!” I used to hear my father say that to my brothers repeatedly. They were just children at that time!

Today, I always think, “What did this guy go thru to be such an asshole?”

Human suffering is everywhere in the world around us. We all have experienced untold, hidden trauma like sudden deaths, abuse, bullying, and violence. Men do not talk about the trauma they suffer Why?

It is experienced that men usually don’t burden others with their problems. They dealt with all their issues on their own. In our society, if a man suffered in silence from trauma, he is awarded the badge of honor. Boys usually learn from their fathers.

Fathers tell their sons that crying is for babies and girls only. Although in our society, males are told that they need to be tough, “Quote” “if you don’t stop crying, I will give you something to cry about!” and powerful enough to survive in a man’s world. T

This is one of the many reasons why males suffer In silence.

We usually hear and see bad male behavior like violence, addiction, shootings, aggression, and criminal behavior and make assumptions that it’s a part of nature of a man,

This unspoken pain and suffering from childhood trauma and men is not always talked about. That leads to projecting trauma onto others. If not onto others, hurting themselves by allowing the infections of inner wounds to spread viciously inside and start self-medicating, by turning to alcohol and drugs.

Until we are ready to talk about male trauma, we will continue to set up the next generation of males to fail in their emotional life. Males are struggling day and night with so much failure at a much higher rate than females.

Unfortunately, today, we have many walking wounded men suffering from depression, anxiety, addictions, or other disorders. For most men talking about their pain and trauma is seen as a weakness.

It is a time to end the trauma suffering by raising our boys to connect with their hearts, give them confidence and permission to share their pain and feelings with their loved ones, or someone they trust., allowing themselves to talk openly about male trauma and seek help from available supports groups, talk therapy as well as other mental health professionals..

We all need someone who can understand our pain, it’s OK to cry and to share our feelings. As Human beings, we all should take a step to reduce the stigma for males to talk, cry, and heal themselves for the sake of our future male children.

 

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Children in Cages

How do you think these kids will be affected in 10 to 15 years? If you have been listening to the news, you have heard about these children being placed in a large cage with other kids, separated from their parents, and not knowing why. No explanation why. Not being able to get answers. Hearing other children crying for their parents too.

I remember, when I was 6 or 7 years old. My parents and all of us who could carry a hoe were working out in the fields, thinning beet plants. We saw immigration vans stop by. They questioned my parents and took me and my brother, forced us into the van. I remember crying. My Mom was crying which made me even more scared.

I remember getting separated from my brother after we got to this very large building. I was placed in a room with white kids in wheelchairs, some were on the floor, crawling towards me.  I cried the whole time I was there. Except when I was offered some food. I felt I was there for days, but it was just one day, which felt to me like a lifetime. I just cried for my parents and kept asking where’s my brother? No one would tell me. I saw these kids in wheelchairs and kids on the floor coming towards me. I later found out; I was placed there because I did not speak English.

I was so afraid they were going to eat me, when I saw them crawling toward me, trying to touch me. I remember in my nightmares; I was lying in a stretcher covered with a light blanket and when someone like a doctor comes in, uncovered me and starts cutting parts off me to feed others, and they kept me alive for body parts. I saw myself with one arm, one foot, and one leg, and other pieces of me missing.

Finally, one of my older sisters came after me and she took me home. This has been one of the other experiences I will never forget. Of course, it was a law that all kids should be in school at my age. We didn’t know why.

Now, here we are, all because of political reasons all these kids are in cages and separated from their families. Last I researched this, late in 2020, 3 children had died. All this happening in the United States! Our land of the free. Let’s go back to the children.

I had a client who I will call Carlos. Carlos was 6 years old. Going to school, had other friends in school whose parents had been taken by ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) they take undocumented people who come to the United States.

The family wanted to make a safety plan. Wanted family to know what to do, where to go, like other families who were with them. Just in case ICE came. First of all, “DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR”! They will announce themselves and let you know who they are.

This child had been born in the United States but feared for his parents, and himself.  He was having nightmares and had not been able to sleep for several weeks now. “Am I going to be placed in a cage?”

I asked if they had taken him to the doctor? They said yes. But he did not help, just gave him something to force this child to sleep. But he would wake up crying. He got worse and so the parents stopped the medication. The doctor said, “All kids go through this and he will outgrow it.”

I investigated on what was their spiritual belief. Carolos’ parents went to church on Sundays, they were Catholic and were teaching their children as well.  While I was talking to Carlos’ parents, I gave him a little bottle of bubbles to blow bubbles. I asked him to tell me what colors he saw in the bubbles and what shape he saw the bubbles were. He responded appropriately.

I asked him to close his eyes and using his imagination to think of himself inside that bubble.

“Now, being inside the bubble, tell me what colors you see. Carlos tells me. I also asked if he had faith in God and his protection? He said “yes”. Long story short. I asked him to have God put the light of the Holy Spirit God, around the bubble with him in it for protection. You are building this bubble to place yourself and your parents in for God to protect them anywhere they may be, home, work, church.

We repeatedly practiced placing him inside the bubble within a second. He later said he could get inside the invisible bubble made by God for his protection so quickly, he felt safe. As I talked to the parents about other things, I would use the word “bubble!” to have him place himself inside it quicker, and he would close his eyes and imagine himself inside the bubble instantly, and say, “Safe!”

According to his parents, he didn’t need the medication and slept soundly after that.

I pray for these children, but I feel this is not enough, they need emotional resources and support as well. I understand there are some organizations, resources, and passionate people who are taking care of these children living in cages.

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Trauma and My Kids

I was thinking the other day, how many of us are there, that have lived adverse lives. Not until I was really thinking of how we are affected by our traumas and how it has affected our lives, I saw a very extremely skinny, pretty young lady, in her early 20s. It reminded me about my trauma and my kids.

As she smiled, I saw she had only one front tooth. She had a very worn-out face.  I had been studying up to give a talk on how trauma affects our young. I decided to mention her, thinking, “what kind of pain has this little girl been suffering?” It turned out she was looking for her mom.

It just happened, her mom was visiting neighbors and was assisting with some home repairs and doing a good job, I might add.   When I saw her mom, she looked just like her. They were both very skinny and looked like they could use some good dental work. It was so sad that her mom was also using. What had happened here?

When we suffer from trauma ourselves, what can our children expect? Sometimes as parents, we are not good examples ourselves. I wanted to provide some advice to them, phone numbers, people to talk to. But I did not feel very comfortable with offering anything. So I just send them the white light of protection. I felt so bad. I prayed for them and sent positive energy, thinking this was the best I could do.

While I was thinking of them, I had a flashback. I would place a quarter in my oldest little girl’s pant pockets when I would wash her clothes, because on some evenings when I would get a feeling that my husband was going to come home drunk. When he was drunk, I knew I was going to get a beating.

I always would get a feeling that he was going to drink that day, just by the way he walked out the door. I was so well trained or something inside me, “just knew.”  I was very devoted to my church. I was very Religious’ back then. I was always told, “God hated a divorce”. What was I to do? Let him kill me and my kids?” I later quit that religion.

Anyway, that night, sure enough, my husband came home drunk. I told the children if they heard us fighting to escape out the window, and run to the neighbors. I told the oldest (who had the quarter in the pocket) to leave the kids with the neighbor and call the police.  I had hidden all the knives early that evening. He had already tried to slice my breast off at one time and I did not want to take any chances with the knives on the counter.

My poor kids. I thank Our Heavenly Father for his protection on that evening and for all the other times. I did get out of that marriage.  I am now learning all about how traumas affect children. God works in mysterious ways; my precious children were some of the strong ones. It brings tears to my eyes while escaping and we were all scared and crying.

I looked in the back seat and my 3-year-old son had his eyes closed and I asked him “Why are your eyes closed?” He answered, “I am praying to Jehovah to protect us mammy”… “Of course, HE did.”  Oh…brings tears to my eyes!

I take a closer look at children, now.

I was at the store a couple of years ago. I saw this lady walking and pushing a baby cart. I looked at this child and saw a very cute baby like maybe one year old. I bent down to say “hello,” and he had the coldest still look in his eyes. He did not look at me or smile, just like he was not here on this earth. Gave me the chills.

Mom was pregnant again. Next to her was a young man. He said he was excited about this baby coming soon. Mom had this weird look on her face.  Didn’t know her name, or his, to just have someone like the police or someone perform a “welfare check” on that child. All I could do was to pray and surround this child with the white light of the Holy Spirit. What could you have done?

I pray for all the children in the whole world. The children are all safe in my heart…my heart will keep them safe and my heart and prayers will go on and on.. and…

 

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What Are ACEs?

Finally, in 1998 someone decided to make an assessment test. This test was developed at the Center on the Developing Child at the Harvard University.  It has been implemented in many areas to use for screening on children and adults.

I learned that many therapists, phycologists, mental health counselors, life coaches, and anyone who wanted to help anyone, who had suffered a trauma in childhood and because of it, had changed their lives. These people were probably drawn to help others because they, themselves suffered the same kind of abuse or trauma.

Helping others to heal was and always will be the main reason you would want to do something about a severe problem that affected yourself or someone you love and care about.

Nadine H. Burke, a pediatrician M.D. saw evidence in her Center for Youth Wellness in San Francisco and wrote a book called “The Deep Well”. In that book she explains, the assessment test.

Depending on the score you can recognize that a child or person might have been producing unhealthy reserves of stress hormones.  Too much of this hormone in a child can do so much damage to the body. At a young age, this could trigger many illnesses and dysfunctional episodes in life. It can than result in many problems as you come to adulthood.

What are ACEs?

Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Screenings in which the California Surgeon General started implementing that many care givers, mental health providers, and those in a position to assist with helping victims of trauma, receive training guided by Dr. Burke, to use the ACE screenings and how to read them.  We are all effected by this.

The more ACEs a child experiences, the more likely he/she will suffer from things like diabetes, poor academic achievement, heart disease, some sort of substance abuse, and jail, or prison time.

Experiencing a frequent number of ACEs, things like stress from any routine task such as simple daily decision making, even as rudimentary as “What should I wear to work today?” Especially, if you work at a place where you have to be presentable, talk to people, or deal with people’s money.  Like work at a coffee kiosk, flower shop, gas station register, or other working environments where you could be triggered by anything (which most likely would not make sense to anyone else) that could throw you into severe “toxic stress”. This type of excessive activation of stress to the nervous system can lead to long lasting wear and tear on the brain and especially the body.

Today! How about the coronavirus? COVID 19 is a virus/illness that effects the lungs. It can spread from person to person and can be picked up from touching contaminating surfaces. That is why people should wash their hands as often as possible. Especially when getting home. Our children don’t always wash their hands. I have seen parents not wearing masks, taking their children to grocery stores, kids putting their fingers into their mouths, etc. How is it effecting our children?

As we talk about trauma and its effect on our children? Right now, some children do not have much to eat. Some schools are in their kitchens making breakfast, for kids to come in pick up the food and take it home to eat. Some buses are going to rural areas and delivering lunches. I know this because my daughter works for a school district and makes sure the buses are running on time.

But what happens when mom or dad can’t work due to the virus?  Because the virus spreads so quickly, children are stuck at home, they miss their friends, and they should not go outside to play.

Many places are banned at this time, like places of worship, workplaces are closed, children cannot go to school (that’s understandable, a very unsanitary environment). Some adults can’t go to work.

These changes are very stressful for the family as a whole.

I am afraid for the children. How is this new situation affecting them? Who is going to help? That’s why it is important for us to learn about trauma and what we can do about it.

Traumas are often repeated through families and when we address and treat them, we can break the inter-generational cycle. How powerful is that?

 

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What should I call it? Trauma?  PTSD? ADHD?

This subject is a hard subject for many of us who have suffered trauma as a child and as an adult as well. Do the pain and suffering ever stop? Yes, somewhat. But there are times when something or someone will trigger a flashback and if you are not used to dismissing the emotion of it. It could ruin an otherwise happy moment.

I was with a friend having a fun time, but the way he took off his belt from his waist, sent me back to an abusive spouse. My friend was just been playful.  I tried not to let it ruin the fun. I kept it inside and tried to dismiss it and reminded myself inside me, that “I am in a safe place and I am no longer in danger.…”

While the mind tries to forget, the survival part of the brain continues to send signals to the body that it is under a threat. When survivors blow up at a boyfriend or freeze in fear when someone disagrees with them, they rarely realize that these “irrational” reactions are triggered by imprints of a horrifying event from the past.

It’s virtually impossible to revisit those experiences without also reliving the terror and helplessness that accompanied them. Like with the smell of a certain cigarette. I can tell if it is a Camel cigarette brand or not, but most of the time it is a Camel brand. Other cigarette brands don’t get my attention. A little child crying by himself or herself in a corner triggers me. I want to run to them and save them from the monster who is hurting them. What can I do?

Most of us require assistance to feel safe enough to explore those events without also reliving the terror or horror, to truly put our experience in perspective and that ordeal belongs to the past.

If you can safely revisit them you can recognize that we were too small, scared, or powerless to protect ourselves.  Then you can not only heal yourself but take care of the wounded parts of yourself.  By talking to those wounded parts and explaining to them that now “you are in a safe place”. Talking to your inner child who suffered that pain, and telling your inner child she/he “is no longer in danger”.

Go to an experienced Clinical Hypnotherapist who understands what you are going through, or someone like a Shaman, Curandera/healer. They could help too.

I understand now, how trauma interferes with relationships, and friends after you have survived all this.  I would love to help others to heal as well.

Continue to understand that subconsciously and not understanding why you’ve reacted to something like you did, was because of something that happened to you that has changed you to someone you really do not recognize yourself!

Remember, “you are not alone!”

As an adult now, I have volunteered my services by working with children from 5 years old to 18 years of age. I have been volunteering for the past 15 and some years now. Showing children, both girls, and boys, “We will be OK and you are not alone.”

For more information on how you can help a child or get help. Located in Washington State. You can get on the Web and type onto {campvictoryforchildren.org) or call 360-791-7566 ask for Andera, Camp Victory Director.

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Is there such thing as being born with trauma?

Let’s see, how could this happen? Well, there could be, like in my case, a very violent and neglectful father, who got my mother pregnant and was forced by my grandfather to marry my mother in a real-life “shotgun marriage.”  As my mother told me this story, she later loved my father and had eight more children from him. I say she loved him because she put up with his drinking, beatings, and cheatings in their marriage. I, being one of the older ones, remember a lot of the unfortunate times.

One of my siblings was having a hard time in her life and said she went through a past life regression at her church and relived her life as in our mother’s womb.  She remembered, our Mom crying a lot. She was in pain and very sad. Suddenly, my sibling started crying uncontrollably and was awakened out of hypnosis. As she related this story to me, I did recall my Mother telling me horrifying stories about my fathers’ abuse. But, yet I remember my Mother being a strong woman. She had children whom she loved more than life. I remember my Mother telling us she wanted more for her children. She died at an early age of 52 years old from a car accident, that only my father survived. (Just our luck.)

I felt I was born with trauma along with some of my other siblings. Hearing and witnessing my father viciously assaulting my Mother, the effect of the stress and our terrified mother suffering while pregnant, her hormones secreted past thru her umbilical cord to her terrified unborn children. All this is passed on to the unborn child.

I was talking to one of my brothers and he stated I was born “mean” and” heartless” since I was a little girl. I remember I was always angry, scared of being separated from my Mom.  I hated my brothers and sisters.

I asked my Mom, “Why did you have so many kids?” Mom said, “You were all a gift from God”. Now at my age, I know what happened, no need to blame God… Imagine hearing your father constantly yelling “What! Another useless girl! And later Raping this little girl, at age of 5, “because that’s all they are good for!”

I made bad choices in marrying the same kind of men as my father, repeatedly. Later, I woke up and wanted something more for myself and my children. I could have winded up on drugs, mentally ill, or in jail, or prison.  Believe me, I still have issues and am trying to work through them. Trauma is something that is with you whether you know it or not. It attacks you and those you love. Checking on yourself is a 24/7 job. It is not easy.

Trauma… (sigh…) Today, I have worked with the chronic mentally ill for over 23 years and gathering information, pieces of training, and experiences in healing.  I also volunteer at an all-girls program for sexually molested girls from the age of 5 to 18 called Camp Victory.

If you want more information about how you can help or volunteer can be found at “campvitoryforchildren.org”

You, empowered to help others is a good way to “survive” and help other victims cope and have hope for a better life.

 

 

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Its Not You Its Trauma

How does trauma affect you? Unfortunately, it affects your life’s decisions. Knowingly and sub-conscionably. After a life-changing severe trauma, it doesn’t only change your life, it also changes your body, re-shapes your cells.  If that isn’t enough, it damages and alters our mindset, how can we tell if we are making the right decisions in picking the right relationship? Sometimes we make the same mistakes repeatedly. When trying to heal, do not linger with the symptoms of your experiences with trauma which include preventing you from doing what is your regular daily activities.

It’s a problem when being stuck in a state of panic, procrastination, or depression. But thanks to new research and treatment strategies, it is more possible than ever to emerge from this darkness.

Many therapists and as an Olympian Life Coach, I had noticed a pattern of behavior in some of my clients. I realized after many years of working with them and trying to help others, that most everyone had gone through an experience that kept them from moving forward.

When I asked why, these clients, most of them, had something in common, something very bad had to happen to them.  They could not achieve their goals or keep a job, they would start a job and within a short time span, they would quit or lose that job. They did give me many excuses, “they did not like me”, “I did not like them”. “I could not get them to understand how I felt”, “I called them names, so they fired me.”

Trauma not only affects our brains and ability to function, but it also affects our emotions. Trauma has even embedded itself in our bodies. We slouch, some of us walk with our heads down, heavy stressful moments can affect our nervous system, and we can react with extreme anxiety, or feel like we cannot breathe. Trauma not only clings to us but it makes us feel impaired, sometimes permanently, unable to process what is going on around us, feeling different, and not understanding why.

Is there healing from all that darkness? Each of us has a different way of dealing with life. I believe it is how we were raised. What kind of childhood did you have? Hard knocks teach us at a young age, how to cope with what was been handed to us. A popular phrase is “if all you get is lemons, make lemonade”!

What worked for me just might not work for you. I was raised in what westerners call a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father. So, I was around a lot of arguments and violence. I felt as I was growing up, this was just a normal way of life. My mom always encouraged us (a large family of 14) to do better and make a better life for ourselves. She always said, “I don’t want you to end up, like me.” She was always giving us good advice. I now wished I would have listened more and applied what safety suggestions she offered. My mom knew best what she really did not want us to wind up with. Now I wished I would’ve listened.

Different people make different choices, especially if you do not know what has caused this bad behavior, especially when before all the trauma, you were achieving many things. What happened? Seeing a therapist, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist could help, unfortunately, they may want to get you on some medication, that might help or just slow your brain down. That is something to think about. I feel the best way is to heal without meds. But really the decision is up to the individual.

Healing could come from talking about your experience with others who have overcome the trauma, and some do. The trauma never goes away, but you learn to live around it, disabling its power over you and your life. There are now many different types of support groups out there. Do some research on the Internet and look for what is right for you.

Taking the wires of your brain and re-routing them to re-connect through meditation, can reconnect you to a more active life. No longer being a victim to it. Not letting the trauma or that experience take the best of you.

 

 

 

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Welcome to Trauma-ties

Trauma-ties is my upcoming, groundbreaking book about trauma, how bad it can be, how it can cause a person to suffer over a lifetime, causing victims to get caught in endless cycles of abuse, and how many have taken their own lives in the process.

I also tell the story of hope. Hope for a better life, a better world, and an incredible future full of healthy happiness, free from the burden of trauma, and filled with light and love.

There is a transformative process that can help you make it to the other side, though it is not a one-size-fits-all or once-and-done process. It is a process that can take a lifetime, as you peel back each layer, like an onion, and defeat the monsters who lurk in the shadows of your life.

If you are active in the therapeutic sciences, or if you are a victim of abusive trauma who is making your way to a healthy life of love and joy, you may be interested in becoming a Certified Trauma Advisor, as a way to give back and help others, like us. 

This work saves lives.

Rosa M Luna